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A Scandal in Britannia is the second episode of season 8, Mice & Murder.

Recap[]

"Gang, last we left off our animal investigators they were at Loam Hall, having just heard the announcement of an enormous tithe to the Vicar Ian Prescott's church from Squire Badger himself. That's right, William Thornwell Brockhollow, the Squire of Loam Hall, giving a huge amount of money following some ghastly business with the death of Connor McCabbage, a worker at his textile mill.

We saw the return of the fee from Sylvester Cross, world-renowned gentleman detective, handed over by his body person, the incredible Sergeant Lars Vandenchomp. We also had a recognition, a little bit of a meeting, of some criminal enterprises between Buckster $ Boyd and Gangie Green, exchanging a list of names of the graves that had been robbed and the cadavers collected by the criminal Gangie.

We ended on a look shared between Buckster's right-hand woman, the fabulous Daisy D'umpstaire, and Sylvester Cross across the ballroom, here at the 60th birthday celebration of the Squire. However, I do not invite you yet to return to those halls of high society and the business to be tended to between Buckster and Badger, between Vicar and the townsfolk of his parish, nor indeed between Sylvester and the halls where he could not crack his only uncracked case. No, instead, I invite you to a locomotive surging through the Alps many years before -- I invite you 12 years prior, to an as yet uninjured, 43-year-old Sylvester Cross: debonair and dashing.

This train surges across huge expanses, where the snowy caps of the Alps plummet away deep. We see little farmhouses where Swiss yodelling bighorn sheep tend their little farm cottages, as the sun sets and night descends on this mountaintop train, frost and snow ripping away from the cowcatcher at the front of the train."

Synopsis[]

In late 1893, hot on the trail of the lost diadem of the Chase family, Detective Sylvester Cross has a chance encounter with Daisy D'umpstaire on a train while both attempt to snatch the priceless piece from the jackal gangster Roscoe McCoy. Hidden cleverly behind a large newspaper and waiting for Roscoe to meet with his London fence, Sylvester spots Daisy taking a seat across from Roscoe. She makes flirty conversation with Roscoe before managing to swipe the diadem from him as he stands to leave. However, Sylvester watches her do this and, as she stows the diadem away in her purse, he manages to snatch it from her without her noticing, before returning to his train carriage.

Soon after, Daisy notices that the diadem is missing and sniffs out its location, arriving at Sylvester's darkened carriage. She falsely intuits that nobody is inside, popping the lock in order to enter, when she is greeted by the strike of a match from Sylvester. He confronts her about her having taken the diadem, and she lies, saying that she is Virginia Chase, the rightful owner of the diadem, which Sylvester knows to be false. However, this discussion is interrupted when the pair hear a gunshot go off in Daisy's carriage, as Roscoe and his gang have realised that the diadem is missing and are attempting to take it back. Sylvester hides Daisy in his suitcase, telling Roscoe that he hasn't seen her when he inquires. Unfortunately, Daisy makes an indignant noise from inside the suitcase that gives them away. In the action that follows, Sylvester and Daisy are able to emerge triumphant with the diadem, having bested Roscoe and all of his goons.

Following this, Daisy introduces herself to Sylvester as an American Private Investigator working on the case of the Chase diadem. The two decide to join forces on the case, discovering that the theft of the diadem was all a front for a caper being pulled by none other than Sylvester's arch-nemesis, Fletcher Cottonbottom. As Sylvester and Daisy begin to travel the world together, solving mysteries, they are caught up in a whirlwind romance, falling deeply in love with one another. They are engaged to be wed within the year.

However, on the day that they were meant to be wed, Sylvester discovers the truth about Daisy whilst at her hotel room: hidden documents reveal all of the income that she's been making from an unknown American businessman. Sylvester realises that all of the information he had given to grieving families, to Scotland Yard, to the Crown, Daisy had been giving to her powerful, shadowy contacts. Looking closer, he is even able to find occasions where Daisy had planted evidence in order to protect the interests of people whose crimes might've otherwise come to light. Sylvester understands that, for the first time in his life, he's been had, and that Daisy got the drop on him.

Daisy rushes over to the hotel and intercepts Sylvester, attempting to convince him that she'd been duped and that the evidence is not what it looks like. Sylvester responds that this lie is the only one that she's told him that he can't believe. However, overcome with emotion, he says that, although he has always been a man of wit, he became a man of heart when he met Daisy, saying that he forgives her. Daisy is surprised to hear this, and is incredulous that Sylvester would try to offer her forgiveness. She tells him that she isn't going to change for him and that she'll always be trying to get ahead, advising him to give her up. Sylvester intuits that, not only is she advising him to give her up, but that she's in a panic asking him to give up on her. Sylvester replies simply that he "just can't." We cut to a small chapel, within which Sylvester stands alone at the altar, with no waiting bride, and no one in attendance. As he returns home to 22B Hampstead Street, there's a deerstalker hat on his doorstep with a note signed "- D." Back in 1905, the present-day for our story, Sylvester, burdened with the return of these memories, downs his cocktail.

Daisy, trying to distract herself from having seen Sylvester again for the first time in many years, begins pursuing her newest con: attempting to take advantage of vulnerable and spiritually-inclined members of society for profit by claiming to allow them to speak to their departed loved ones. Earlier, when she'd asked about Catherine McCabbage, the widow, it had been for the purpose of pretending to speak with her husband in exchange for milking her for money. At that moment, Lucretia Brockhollow and Lars Vandenchomp stride into the room, talking about a post-dinner séance. Thomas Gilfoyle introduces Daisy to Lucretia, who recognises her as Buckster Boyd's "personal assistant". Daisy corrects her, stating that she is Buckster's business partner. Lars deduces that she has a fiery aura, and Daisy asks if they're trying to say she's an Aries. Lucretia asks if they have another cosmographer in their midst, and Daisy says that they do, appearing to feign interest for the benefit of their con. Lars is aware of Daisy and her relationship to Sylvester, and accordingly shoot Sylvester a look that says: "Oh my God."

Sylvester heads to the bar, where he's greeted by an bartender named Ollie Banks. He asks for something strong, and Ollie comments upon his face looking even longer than usual. Sylvester confides in him that he hasn't been alright for some time, but doesn't want to bother him with his problems. As he's standing at the bar, Squire Badger puts a strong paw on Sylvester's back, and the two begin to make conversation. He warns Sylvester that he doesn't enjoy surprises, especially the stunt Sylvester pulled by ostentatiously returning his fee, and that he doesn't enjoy being disrespected and then having his nose rubbed in it. Sylvester intimidatingly quips that perhaps the Squire should move his nose then. Squire Badger is sufficiently rattled by Sylvester, seeing that he had mistaken the man's melancholy for weakness. As Squire Badger backs off, Ollie hands Sylvester his drink, a bit embarrassed at having overheard such a tense conversation between a guest and his employer.

Across the room, Buckster $ Boyd and Vicar Ian Prescott both overhear the tense conversation between Squire Badger and Sylvester. Daisy had told Buckster little bits of information relating to the nature of her previous relationship with Sylvester, but Buckster had actually been aware of it the whole time. Buckster walks up to the bar and stands next to Sylvester, making a euphemistic joke referring to alcoholic spirits as his "Irish friends," and asking Ollie to introduce him to Sylvester. The two trade quips, and Buckster deduces that Sylvester is shaken, having already used up all of his fight to out-fox Squire Badger. Buckster then leans in close to Sylvester and surreptitiously says that, as an oil baron, he's used to knowing where the bodies are buried, or, in this particular case, where they are being dug up. He adds that, most of the time, people like Sylvester take the hit for cases left unsolved, but suggests that, this time, perhaps a bit of bad publicity should point the other way, back towards those who hired investigators in the first place. The two begin speaking in innuendo and metaphor, realising that they can communicate whatever they want and it will be completely incomprehensible to anyone but them. Buckster communicates that he thinks Squire Badger is dirty, and that he is here to damage Squire Badger's reputation. He suggests that Sylvester might share in this motive. Alhough Sylvester doesn't entirely like the sound of Buckster's ulterior motives, and his background as a Texas oil baron, he does believe that the enemy of his enemy is his friend. He agrees to help make bad publicity for Squire Badger as long as his hands stay clean, and Buckster assures him that he doesn't mind his hands getting dirty. The two clink their glasses, having formed a temporary alliance.

At the end of their conversation, Lawrence Longfoot, a photographer and newspaper magnate, says "hello" to both of them. Buckster recognises that he and Lawrence are very similar, having both gotten involved with dirty work and gotten very rich by doing so. He also can see that he's here for much the same reason that Ian was invited: to keep influential figures on the good side of Squire Badger. Lawrence and Buckster share a few warm words of mutual appreciation before Lawrence asks to take a photo of Buckster and Sylvester together. Sylvester somewhat begrudgingly agrees, snarkily remarking that all press is good press, and that Lawrence does qualify as "all press". As he takes the photo, Lawrence tells Sylvester not to worry, and that they have something planned just for him.

In the kitchen, Gangie Green is sat with some of the other members of staff, eating his scones and clotted cream, and drinking a warm cup of tea. As Molly Milton and Millie Molton, two married members of the kitchen staff, offer him stew and pleasantries, he gives them little more than a shrug in response. Thomas Gilfoyle enters the room, alerting the gathered members of staff that dinner will be served in half an hour, and that service will commence at precisely six o'clock on the dot. He turns to Gangie, asking him to stay in the servants' quarters whilst the service takes place as he is in outdoor dress; Gangie agrees to do so. Whilst watching Thomas leave, Gangie is intercepted by Ambrose Harding, who requests his presence on the landing of the second floor at half past seven. Reluctantly, Gangie agrees to this meeting.

Across the hall, walking towards the drawing room, Ian intercepts Squire Badger, who is talking with Tabitha and Calliope Fawnbrook, and Colonel James Hawkins. Squire Badger thanks Ian for his attendance at the event, saying that his presence means the world to him. Ian admits that he was not expecting to fall into such fortune, referring to Squire Badger's generous donation to Our Lady of Prayerful Paws, but concludes that the Lord has been good. Squire Badger apologises for not having communicated to Ian about the donation beforehand, saying that this was because he wanted to make sure that the donation did not appear selfish, but like it had come from a place of true altruism. Ian responds suspiciously to this statement, and questions Squire Badger's apparently altruistic motives for the donation. Squire Badger responds by saying that of course the donation was given altruistically, adding that one, such as himself, who has been blessed by the Lord should return the blessing in return to those less fortunate. He asserts that this is what Ian himself has been preaching, before questioning whether Ian has in fact been too busy writing to the London newspapers recently to engage in any preaching. Ian notes that Squire Badger has not been in attendance at Church service recently, suggesting that this perhaps explains Squire Badger's ignorance on the subject of his sermons. He also says that those, such as Squire Badger, that the Lord has blessed are also blessed with greater responsibility, which puts them and their actions under the microscope. Squire Badger apologises for his lack of attendance, and claims to agree with Ian's comment about the responsibility held by those blessed by the Lord, especially the nobility and landed gentry. He adds, however, that, when he made his generous tithe to the Church, he had a long conversation with the Cardinal to ensure that the money would fall into the right hands. He then reveals that he and the Cardinal agreed that Ian's gifts are being wasted in Tufting Meadows, and that perhaps he would be better suited to bring the good word to those who truly need it, his final blow being that the Cardinal had suggested Siberia as his potential site of relocation.

Twenty minutes before dinner, Buckster is approached by Thomas, who asks him how urgent his business with Squire Badger is. Buckster responds that he wishes to get it done with as soon as possible, and Thomas leads him to a leisure room with a grand piano, a pool table, and a cards table. In the leisure room, Squire Badger is stood talking with James and Ambrose. As Buckster approaches to join the conversation, he calls Squire Badger "Squire Badger" to his face, before realising that he has made a faux pas in accordance with British manners and terms of address, when those gathered laugh haughtily at him. Thomas leaves, and Squire Badger asks Ambrose to escort James back to the rest of the guests, so that he and Buckster will be able to talk alone. As Buckster offers his condolences for the death of Connor McCabbage at Squire Badger's textile mill, he notices that the balls on the pool table are scattered strangely, as if a child had been playing with them rather than as if a game was being played. Squire Badger confides in Buckster that his name has been being dragged through the mud following the death of Connor, and Buckster says that he is there to let him off the hook, adding that he'd hate for his own reputation to do any more damage to Squire Badger's. He then tells Squire Badger that they are going to have to renegotiate their working relationship, adding the loaded statement that he wants to make sure that Squire Badger doesn't get into anymore trouble. Squire Badger is outraged, asking Buckster incredulously why he would dare to blackmail him. Buckster says that "blackmail" isn't quite the right word for what he's doing, and suggests that Squire Badger sees it, as they'd call it in the States, as more of a "creative business model." Squire Badger flips the table in a fit of rage, shouting at Buckster that he is just a common, worthless javelina. This culminates in Squire Badger knocking Buckster prone, before hurrying out of the room in a shameful panic. As Buckster, rattled, composes himself, he spots a pair of mice feet underneath the curtains at the side of the leisure room. He slams the door to imply that he has left the room, causing the two mice, Edwina Thimble and Carolyn Dickory, a pair of mice maids, to reveal themselves. Buckster realises that it was Edwina and Carolyn who had been messing around with the pool balls that he noticed were askew earlier. The two maids and Buckster come to a euphemistic agreement, with Buckster agreeing not to reveal that they had been skiving from their jobs if Edwina and Carolyn promise not to say a word about the interaction that they have just witnessed.

Back in the ballroom, Lucretia, Lars, and Daisy agree that holding their planned séance after dinner makes more sense, although Lucretia offers to show the room to them before dinner. Inside, the séance room is a hodgepodge of occult artefacts from various cultures. Lars expresses admiration for the room as a true believer, although Daisy plays up her interest for show. When the group begin talking about supposed ghosts haunting Loam Hall, Daisy claims that she can feel one near her. At this, Lucretia claims to be having a vision, and spouts incredibly vague statements about a man that has had an effect on Daisy's life. Although the statements are vague enough that they could apply to anyone, Daisy is clearly a little rattled, thinking about Sylvester. Daisy then pitches her scheme to Lucretia, suggesting that they use her "gift" to make money from grieving families by allowing them to speak to their recently departed loved ones. Lucretia, however, does not seem keen on using her gift in exchange for money. As she leaves the séance room with a swirl of her shawl, Daisy notices that an old portrait, that jars with the other decorations in the room, appears to be bolted to the wall.

As Lars and Daisy make their way back to the dining room, they begin talking, and Lars asks Daisy what mess she is here to make, hinting at the disastrous end to her relationship with Sylvester. The two trade barbs, and Lars tries to tempt Daisy to eat some rubbish from a nearby bin. Daisy asks what Lars's intentions are, and Lars responds that they are simply trying to clear Sylvester's name. Daisy, in turn, asks what Lars is doing talking to her, considering she practically ruined Sylvester's life. Lars says that they couldn't have put it better themself. As soon as Lars returns to Sylvester, they relay the entire conversation to him.

Just before dinner begins, Gangie overhears Thomas and Ambrose arguing over the hiring of someone at Loam Hall that they don't trust, but that Squire Badger seems to. Gangie correctly assumes that they're talking about him. As he turns to leave Loam Hall, Gangie begins stealing silverware. On his way, he is intercepted by Matilda Molesly, who not only helps him, but checks up on him, offering to make him a sweater to keep him warm in the cold weather. She reminisces about her previous role as nanny to Squire Badger, and tells Gangie that, if anyone at Loam Hall gives him any trouble, he should tell her and she will sort them out. Gangie pulls a small dandelion from his pocket and hands it to her. Gangie then realises that he can't leave Loam Hall yet, as he has already agreed to a meeting with Ambrose at half past seven.

As dinner begins, Sylvester finds himself seated across from Daisy, much to his dismay. Constance Brockhollow raises a toast to the table's good health, and everyone present drinks. Ian prays to God about his situation, but doesn't receive any answers that he can believe in. Buckster fills Daisy in on what happened between himself and Squire Badger, and shares with her the list of names that he received earlier from Gangie. After initially refusing to acknowledge each other, Daisy and Sylvester begin trading barbs. They are like two glass cannons: both armed to the teeth and able to deal large blows, but, also, very easy to hurt.

After dinner concludes, Constance walks with Squire Badger to a private study. Ambrose then delivers a legal document to Buckster that he tells him Squire Badger has had prepared. Buckster heads down the hall with Daisy for some privacy whilst he reads it. Gangie, waiting for his meeting with Ambrose, watches Buckster and Daisy's interaction from the shadows. Ian goes to speak to Lucretia, seeking her advice as God seems to be ignoring his prayers. Lucretia is more than happy to see Ian embracing mysticism, and begins grabbing all of her apparatus for the séance. Sylvester and Lars step outside under the awning for some peace and quiet. As Sylvester smokes his pipe, Lucretia runs past, saying: "If you see a ghost, you have to tell me." In that instant, a flash of lightning illuminates the area, in the light of which Sylvester can clearly see a familiar figure standing on the dock.

Out in the hallway, Buckster and Daisy open the legal document, which reveals that Squire Badger is selling his shares in BB Industries, Buckster's company, to Hazel Hogswallop, a small shareholder in the company. Buckster knows Hazel as an ancient Texas heiress who he hasn't really needed to pay much attention to. An addendum to the legal document reveals that one of Squire Badger's last acts as a 50% shareholder will be to sign over a proxy vote to Josiah Jackrabbit, one of Buckster's biggest competitors in the Texan oil industry. Buckster can tell that the ink on the document is fresh, and assumes that it was written after his and Squire Badger's earlier negative interaction. Buckster can tell that this move is a desperate one from Squire Badger, as it does not serve to make him any money. As a result, he thinks that it is likely that someone else is pushing Squire Badger into doing this.

Through one of the air vents, Gangie hears Constance shout, "Father, you're possessed! You're a man mad. This will never work. Speak of this to me never again!" This is followed by the slamming of a door that all can hear. At the top of the stairs, Matilda intercepts Squire Badger, asking him why he hasn't eaten anything at dinner. He responds that he doesn't have time, asking Matilda to come with him as he heads off to the drawing room, with Ambrose also in tow.

We cut back to Lars and Sylvester outside Loam Hall as, in a crash of lightning, Sylvester sees, as he removes his hood, his presumed-dead arch-nemesis, Fletcher Cottonbottom, standing on the dock. In another flash of lightning, Fletcher is gone. As another fork of lightning strikes the tower at the top of the hill, all can hear a scream and the sound of something dropping, followed by footsteps and the sound of a door slamming open, with a cry of "My God!"

Ian reacts first, leaving the séance room and trying to gather everyone together to head towards the drawing room. Daisy then rushes towards the drawing room, whilst Gangie slinks past Buckster, down the hall into the next room. Buckster, immediately deeply frightened, tells Daisy that he's right behind her, before actually going to hide. Lars asks Sylvester what they should do, and Sylvester can only repeat Cottonbottom's name before snapping to attention to get into the room. The door to the study is flung open, and, inside, they can see Matilda, her hands covered with blood, kneeling on the ground over Squire Badger's dead body. She sputters in terror, saying that she saw him digging into his own chest with the knife. Sylvester notices that objects in the room have been scattered everywhere. Lucretia immediately dubs it the work of a poltergeist before all eyes turn to Sylvester, who promptly announces: "Lady Lucretia, I've seen a ghost."

Locations[]

Characters[]

The Sylvan Sleuths[]

New[]

Returning[]

Mentioned[]

Trivia[]

  • This episode's title is a reference to "A Scandal in Bohemia", the Sherlock Holmes story in which the detective encounters Irene Adler, the only woman who's ever outsmarted him. Although he only admires her platonically for her cleverness and wit in the original story, she is often represented in popular media as his love interest.
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