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Are you my dad? Am I my OWN dad!? |
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WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!? WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!? |
| Warning!! Spoilers ahead!! | |
| This page contains major plot spoilers! If you have not seen up to Episode 17 of A Crown of Candy, proceed at your own risk. |
Duchess Primsy Coldbottle is the sovereign ruler of the Dairy Islands, though she is not a direct heir to House Cheddar.
Featured Episodes[]
| Episodes Featuring Primsy |
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A Crown of Candy
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Time Quangle
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Description[]
Primsy is a young 16-year old duchess. She has a giant milk bottle head with eyes and a mouth on it, and is always finely dressed. Around the side, as a part of her flesh, is the word "MILK".
She's very well spoken for her age, as she tries to be as polite and proper as she can after being thrust into her position as Duchess. She can seem indecisive but exhibits a stubborn streak once her decision is made. Primsy is very kind, thoughtful, and is squeamish about overt violence and sexual situations, which is a stark contrast to the adventurish and rogue-ish nature of her fellow Dairy Islanders. Many think her weak and sheltered, especially given her young age, but after meeting the Candian House of Rocks, particularly the princesses, Primsy aims to be seen as a strong, independent woman who needs no man.
Background[]
Though not a direct heir to House Cheddar, Primsy became the ruler of the Dairy Islands when the rightful heir, Captain Annabelle Cheddar, forfeited the throne when she refused to marry.
At the time of meeting the Candian royal family, she is engaged in a secret courtship with Lord Stilton Curdeau of House Bleu but unable to marry as he has taken a Bulbian vow of celibacy.
Her house motto is "Keep Sharp."
History[]
Keep Sharp[]
Primsy is first introduced as the party exits their carriages in Comida for the first time. They spot her standing among a circle of advisors and guards, including Lord Stilton Curdeau, Captain Annabelle Cheddar, Sir Morris Brie, and Manta Ray Jack. King Amethar approaches her and they compliment each other: Primsy on how great of a soldier she's heard Amethar is, and Amethar on how beautiful the Dairy Islands are, as well as how well-spoken Primsy is. Amethar asks to speak to Sir Morris Brie, and she excuses herself.
As he watches from afar, Sir Theobald Gumbar notices Primsy look over to Lord Stilton, who is sitting nearby. He winks at her, and she blushes.
Later that day, a feast is held for all the visitors. Suspicious, Theobald introduces himself and a very drunken Liam Wilhemina to the duchess. When Theo asks after Lord Stilton and her relationship with him, Primsy introduces him only as her "traveling companion."
As the House of Rocks regroup later during the feast, Theobald and King Amethar stand with the Dairy Islanders as a show of their continued friendship. This moves the Dairy Islanders greatly, as many are suspicious of them after the roadside assassination attempt on King Amethar while the Candians were en route to Comida. During this gesture, Primsy tells Amethar this will be her first tourney she's ever attended, which the princesses Jet Rocks and Ruby Rocks overhear and bond with her, Ruby telling her it is their first Grand Tournament as well. Primsy is overjoyed to meet the princesses, excited to meet two cool girls around her age and presents them with embroideries she made out of milk silk, an alchemical type of liquid fabric that is cool to the touch. They are embroidered with a candy cane crossed with a piece of cheese on a toothpick to show the friendship and alliance between the two nations. The princesses are surprised at the kindness and beauty of the gift, but upset they don't have anything in return to give to Primsy. Improvising, Jet takes a piece of wood and uses her rapier to carve "Dairy Island rules!" into it, and Ruby uses her lantern to "burn it a little bit." Jet tells her it's for when she eats al fresco, "sort of a place mat." Despite the hastiness, Primsy is touched and politely accepts the gift, calling it "charming."
After the princesses receive their embroideries, Liam asks Primsy if she has one for him as well. She is immediately embarrassed and apologizes profusely, as she does not have one made for him. She offers her own handkerchief embroidered with a small wedge of cheese and her house motto, "Keep Sharp." Primsy tells Liam he may have the handkerchief as her favor if he'll agree to participate in the archery competition at the Grand Tournament the next day. Liam agrees, much to Amethar's pleasure, but wonders if this is a similar gesture to Princess Jet giving Viscount Thaddeus Strongpit her underwear. After Jet and Ruby give Primsy their "place mat," Liam hatches two seed flowers in his hand and gives them to the duchess.
The Grand Tournament[]
During the Grand Tournament, she sits in a royal box, accompanied by Calroy Cruller and his wife. She cheers on Jet and Liam, who she chose to represent her during the archery.
After the events of the tournament, Primsy appears scared and asks Liam if the tournaments are always that violent.
Development sketch by season artist Samir Barrett: "Can't forget those hailing from the Dairy Islands. Arguably the best characters in all of Comida."
Lapin's Big Day[]
The winners of the Grand Tournament are called to meet with Emperor Gustavo Uvano. As the winner of the Grand Melee, Annabelle Cheddar is allowed to request any favor from Emperor Gustavo. Annabelle asks the emperor to request that the Pontifex release Lord Stilton Curdeau from his holy vows so that he can marry Primsy. Amethar, Liam, and Theobald are immediately dismayed and suspicious of this request, but they do not say anything given the somber circumstances of the dying emperor.
After the meeting with the emperor, Liam goes to Annabelle and expresses his surprise that Primsy is romantically involved. Annabelle explains that Primsy has had her heart set on Stilton, who has been powerfully wooing her since she was much younger. She explains how Stilton took vows of celibacy and purity when he was younger, but it became an obstacle for him when his brother died and became next in line as Lord of House Bleu, as well as an obstacle for Primsy, as they could not declare their courtship publicly, and she has had to turn down several suitors. When Theobald presses for Annabelle's feelings about Stilton, she denies any closeness and calls him a "ponce," but says that he makes Primsy happy. Theobald questions whether Annabelle cares about Primsy's happiness, which insults Annabelle deeply and results in her threatening him if he ever questions her honor or allegiance to her duchess. Liam makes a humorous, blind observation that she might be in love with Primsy, which Theobald dismisses with a laugh.
Escape from the Bulb Creeps[]
On the Colby ship, Captain Annabelle Cheddar officiates Primsy's marriage to Lord Stilton Curdeau, with the rest of the crew witnessing the ceremony.
After Stilton leaves and imperial soldiers fail their search for the fugitive Rock family, Primsy receives a message from who she believes to be a spirit that tells her to go below deck. It is actually Princess Ruby Rocks casting Message, and is stowed away with the rest of her family below deck. Scared, Primsy asks to bring Annabelle but Ruby refuses. Despite her hesitation, she goes below deck, only to be threatened and scared by another apparent spirit, who is Theobald telling her to be quiet no matter what she sees, followed by King Amethar bursting out of a crate. Her screams are heard by Annabelle who immediately joins her and find the rest of the Rocks family. The Rocks family pleads to be taken to the Great Stone Candy Mountains to meet with Joren Jawbreaker, Liam's father and the newly-named King of Candia. Unable to make the difficult decision, Primsy defers to Annabelle, who agrees to take the family with them to the Dairy Islands as well-treated prisoners until they can come up with a better plan, but cannot offer further assistance without the Dairy Islands becoming a political enemy of the Bulb and the other nations.
The Rock family is given a cabin on the ship and told to not leave it. A while later, Primsy visits and invites them to an after-dinner tea. The Rocks family takes this opportunity to try and convince her into going against Annabelle's decision of taking them back to the Dairy Islands. Already uncertain about betraying her cousin's decision, Primsy is further deterred and insulted when Theobald insinuates Lord Stilton had nefarious intentions when marrying her. Primsy becomes curt with Theobald and abruptly ends the after-dinner tea. Primsy leaves them to go up to the crow's nest of the ship to wave goodbye to Stilton's ship, unaware that Jet has followed her in the shadows. While up there, Annabelle notices that they are being followed and attempts to sail away but finds that their sails have been sabotaged. The approaching ships gain on them and then grapple the Colby on both sides.
Deep Bleu Sea[]
Primsy stands in the crow's nest, unaware of Jet's presence, as the ship is surrounded by House Bleu soldiers. From the Dairy Air ship, Stilton swings on to the crow's nest next to her and runs her through the stomach with a sword, saying, "Mon cheri, I am happy for this throne you have given me." As she lays fatally injured on the floor, she sees Jet's eyes appear before Stilton is stabbed and thrown off the crow's nest into the sea. Jet attempts to heal her but she does not know how. Primsy apologizes for not believing them earlier, to which Jet reassures her that she is a strong woman for standing by her choices.
Safe Harbor[]
While the Rock family and Annabelle steer La Fondue through the storm, Primsy and the Cheddar sailors recover below deck. In the morning the Cheddar crew hold a funeral at sea for their fallen comrade. Afterwards Primsy emerges from below decks and invites the Royal House of Rocks to a parley in the captains quarters and says to the group "Speaking on behalf of the House of Cheddar, sovereign seat of the Dairy Islands. The Dairy Islands does not recognize the ex-communication of King Amethar of the House of Rocks." Primsy and Liam share a tender moment.
In the captain's quarters, the group tell Annabelle and Primsy the events that happened in the cathedral and what events led to Amethar's breaking his oath of marriage. They also divulge to Annabelle and Primsy that Amethar was named the successor to the Concordant Emperor. Primsy declares that the Dairy Islands will have scouts sent to look for Catherine Ghee in order to mend the House of Rocks problems with the Bulbian Church.
La Fondue arrives to to the Dairy Island and continue sailing to the Cola River and arrive at Port Syrup. at the port are three sunken imperial warships. Annabelle runs down a banner of House Cheddar with a smaller banner of House Rocks flying underneath. As they arrive at the harbor they see Manta Ray Jack and Sir Morris Brie, who tells them how Sir Morris was able to find Manta Ray with Ruby's Message, and how they were able to escape Comida and warn Candia with the assistance of Lord Calroy Cruller.
In the port, the group is met with a royal welcome, but the church bells that normally would ring do not. A report is given that there is violence in the mountains from with marauders, imperial attacks on House Jawbreaker, and forty imperial soldiers were found in a passage with their blood smeared on the frosty mountainside saying "Long live the queen." There is also a notice of a call to musters for all various banner lords and vassals to report to the Castle Candy because a huge army is moving north from Comida cross the Cola River and attack Castle Candy.
Annabelle and Primsy bid farewell to the House of Rock as they sail back to Lacramor to muster the Dairy Islands and ensure the seas are not safe for any ship aiming for Candia. Sir Morris Brie stays to hold down the port while Manta Ray takes the group on the Baby Bell ship to Castle Candy.
At The Mountains of Sweetness[]
After Princess Jet's funeral, Theo attempts to comfort Ruby by telling her that he doesn't think Jet is fully gone and is still protecting them all. When Ruby remarks that Jet was always protecting them, Theo agrees, mentioning how she helped save Primsy from Lord Stilton.
The Two Balls[]
After the defeat of the Sugar Plum Fairy, the Rock family returns to Castle Many Licks, where Primsy meets them again. It is revealed that Primsy has reached out to the rest of Calorum to notify everyone of Saccharina Frostwhip's existence, as well as her rightful claim to the Candy throne. Upon meeting Saccharina for the first time, Primsy and the Dairy Islands pledge their acknowledgement of Saccharina as the Queen of Candia and continued alliance between the two nations. Primsy further remarks that she is pleased to see a "cousin of sorts" sitting on the throne, a reference to Saccharina's Dairy Island roots on her maternal side.
At Saccharina's coronation, Primsy speaks with Liam, asking him if he still carries her favor from the tournament. Liam confirms he does, and pulls it out to show her. Primsy does not ask for it back but seems to smile very sweetly and says it is nice to see he still has it. An awkward, yet cute, conversation continues as Primsy explains to Liam that her marriage prospects are no longer as promising due to her current status as a widow and the violent nature of her previous husband's death at sea. She says that though she doesn't see herself marrying a prince, she could still marry a count, heavily hinting at Liam. Liam picks up on this but tells Primsy that though he is looking for marriage, he doesn't think he can provide her what she needs, as he has identified himself as asexual in this episode to his father, and only wants non-sexual romantic interactions. Primsy tells Liam that she shares his same feelings, revealing that she only went as far as kissing with Stilton, and is frightened by anything more than that. She is specifically mortified by Joren Jawbreaker's phrase "getting slammed down, big style" as she is afraid that if she was to be slammed down, she would shatter and die. Coming to an understanding for what their needs would be, the two begin a formal courtship by joining hands and taking a walk through the garden.
During a meeting in which the party is planning their siege of Castle Candy, Primsy offers to write to Lord Cruller that she and the Dairy Islands would like to recognize him as the ruler of Candia so that they can easily move Dairy Islander ships closer to the castle without raising suspicions. Queen Saccharina proudly recognizes her as a "shark," much to Primsy's delight, and is deemed "a fucking baller."
For Candia! (Part 1)[]
House Rocks sails to Castle Candy with Primsy Coldbottle's ships on the Cola River as she prepares to meet with the Council that includes Pontifex Belisabeth Brassica, Senator Augustus Ciabatta, Sir Keradin Deeproot, and Lady Plumbeline Uvano.
For Candia! (Part 2)[]
Primsy used her power as Duchess of Lacramor to sneak the Candian armies to Castle Candy, claiming to be there to recognize Calroy Cruller as the rightful ruler of Candia. During the battle, Primsy witnessed King Amethar of House Rocks swear upon the Book of Leaves that he was named Emperor by Gustavo Uvano and immediately recognized his claim, paving the way for the restoration of the Concord.
Quotes[]
- "You’ve struck me! Why have you done this?"
- "I am a strong, independent woman, and I don't need no man!"
- "My head is a milk bottle. If I were to be slammed down in any sort of meaningful way, I could die."
Trivia[]
- Both the milk and the bottle are a part of her body, the same way both skin and blood are part of ours. It's not that weird.
- Art Director Rick Perry has stated that the tiny milk container she holds as part of her mini is a "milken", the Dairy Islands equivalent of a kitten.[1]
- She is heavily implied to be asexual or on the asexual spectrum, like Liam, in their conversation in Episode 15: The Two Balls
- Her mini was sold as part of the Dimension 20 A Crown Of Candy Auction for $2,055
References[]
- ↑ Production designer Rick Perry on Twitter: https://twitter.com/RichardHPerry/status/1260235379392696320
