Escape from the Bulb Creeps is the seventh episode of season 5, A Crown of Candy.
As the Taste Buds flee from the Cathedral of Saint Arugula, they reflect on the loss of Chancellor Lapin Cadbury, and their pasts flash before their eyes. When they come across Viscount Thaddeus Strongpit, they hijack his carriage and drive it down to the docks of Pulp Bay, where they stow away on Captain Annabelle Cheddar's ship, the Colby.
Recap[]
"Last we left our intrepid heroes, they were in the Cathedral of Saint Arugula in the capital city of Comida. The throne of the Concordant Emperor atop the Great Pyramid of Food, the death of Gustavo Uvano, and a sudden, devious turn of events. Her holiness the Hierophant Rex and Pontifex of the Bulbian Church, Belizabeth Brassica, having sideswiped Amethar of the House of Rocks at a trial for witchcraft for Liam Wilhelmina of House Jawbreaker, Count of Freezyberg on the charge of witchcraft."
"Some business was attended to having to do with the sudden passing of Gustavo Uvano and conflicting accounts of who the Emperor had named his successor, invited to put his hand on the book of his sister Saint Citrina, compelled to tell the truth. Instead of being asked as to the words of his old friend Gustavo, he was asked who was his lawful wedded wife. For the first time in their lives, the family members of Amethar heard the name Catherine Ghee, a commoner of the Dairy Islands."
"After being sentenced as an adulterer and oathbreaker, Amethar was stripped of land and titles, the crown of Candia passing immediately, many hundreds of miles away to Duke Joren Jawbreaker meaning that Candia had, without any active role on its part, inadvertently declared war on the Concord and removed itself from the protection of the Imperial army."
Synopsis[]
The group runs silently through the streets of Comida. Ruby sends Yak up to scope out any safe paths, while Jet leads the group to the alley where Thad’s been waiting. While assessing their conditions, each person has a flashback to past times in their lives.
Ruby, as a 9-10 year old, is doing a handstand on a castle wall. She is scolded by Caramelinda, saying that life will be hard enough without the added risks of tempting fate for fun. She tells Ruby that the lessons Caramelinda's taught her about politics and the other members of the ruling class, those lessons are preparing her for the possible dangers of the future.
Amethar, as a 24 year old, is spending time with his sisters. Rococoa berates him for marrying a commoner for love, as well as the spurned possibility of a political marriage. Citrina comforts and supports him. Sapphria is all for it, too, as the likelihood that anything bad coming from this marriage is very very low, as he’s fifth in line. Rococoa wants it annulled, Citrina says that that would spit in the face of the Bulb, as it’s a sacred vow. Lazuli teleports in, and she’s asked about whether she’s heard. She comments that she had seen the possibility of this happening, and now that it has happened, the futures from the times where it doesn’t happen won’t happen now. They make plans to not tell Jadain, and to annul it after the war completes.
Liam, a few years back, talks with his father. He gives Liam Preston, which Liam worries that it will be a toughness test. Joren mistakes Liam’s and Preston’s names. Spearia Mentha, Liam’s mother and priestess of the Sweetening Path, comes up and discuss how brave he was for volunteering to be a ward to the Rocks family. Liam says he’s just happy to be away from his brothers, as they mistreat him as a game. Spearia admits that that’s full neglectful abuse, and would work on that, but he’s leaving. Joren, Spearia, and their other 33 partners decided that it’d be ok for him to leave, but she warns him of the dangers of the non-Candian world, and how they’re not accepting of other religions and ideas. Back to the present, as Liam mourns Preston, he feels something dark take hold in him. A powerful flame and smokey wind filled hunger comes over him and his crossbow.
Theo, back when he first became a knight of North Gumbia, stands beside the Archmage Lazuli. She hands a cotton candy monk, named Cumulus, papers to bring to the Monastery of the Spinning Star. Lazuli discusses that Theo will be working under her as a ward. Theo admits that he’s nervous to be her ward, and doesn’t think he has the mind for learning magic. After realizing that he only thinks that he doesn’t think that he should be able to have access to magic is because he’s simply never thought about it, Lazuli orders him to think for himself and be curious.
Jet, around 14, is fencing against Calroy. They discuss the conventions of the world, and how some of them are worth challenging. He tells her that, as a princess, she has an actual chance to make change in the world, despite tradition. Jet says that sweetness may be a strength, but it can also be a weakness. Cal mentions that many sweet people die, and that many strong people that survive are often not sweet. He looks forward to Jet’s rule where she investigates what it means to be sweet and strong. They go back to sparring.
Ruby uses Mage Hand to catch the parchment of Lapin’s For Candia message, and feels remorse for how they treated him while he lived. Liam is not in a good place (and has transitioned to Gloomstalker ranger). They arrive at Thad’s alley, finding him near delirious. Jet asks for him to bring them to his carriage. He asks for Amethar’s blessing to bone and marry Jet. Liam, fed up and on death’s door, crits on a punch. Thad passes out. Ruby casts Sleep on the servants as they run away. She then disguises herself to look like Thadeus. The group finds the carriage and convince the servants there that they need to be brought to the beach to have a secret, shotgun wedding.
Safely hidden in the carriage, they go to leave the city. Theo reassures everyone that none of the events were anyone’s faults and that the girls saved their father’s life. Amethar admits that since his actions put his loved ones and entire country in danger, he would have been fine sacrificing himself to ensure that everyone else made it out of the cathedral. Yak sees that the Imperial Army is patrolling the Glucian Road, so that path would be very dangerous. Travelling directly to Candia would require passing through Fructera, which is now run by Plumbeline, would be dangerous as well. Between the options of going south to Brightgarden and sailing from Comida to the northern shores of Candia, they decide to take a ship to the mountains.
Jet talks about feeling bad about how she treated Thad, and Liam laments being a war guy and how he almost killed him. Jet now requests that her list of titles include bastard. They make their ways to the docks. They discuss ways to secure passage, and whether any of them actually know how to sail. None of them do.
They find a few ships docked, and decide to stow away on Annabelle Cheddar’s ship, the Colby. Theo and Sprinkle notice that Annabelle is currently marrying Primsy to Stilton on the ship. They sneak into a crate of drinking milk. Ruby wargs into Yak and sees Sir Morris Brie looking around for Manta Ray. She messages Morris that he’s in the cathedral. Believing the telepathic voice to be the Spirits of the Wide Sea, he reluctantly trusts her and heads off to find him.
They’re brought on board, and overhear Annabelle turning to Primsy for what the Duchess thinks they should do, in light of them receiving word of all the massive news from the past day. She falters and fails to fully come up with a course of action. A cheese-bloody letter arrives from Morris, causing Annabelle to spring into action and set sail immediately.
After a half hour of sitting in the crate, the ship is boarded and searched. Their crate is not found. After another half hour or so, they decide to have Ruby message Primsy to have her come down to talk with them. Ruby invokes the friendship of houses Cheddar and Rocks, and asks that she come downstairs. Primsy says that she always believed that fairies were real, and that she’s heading down.
Before busting out of the crate, waving the milk silk flags, Theo unintentionally creepily says “don’t scream, no matter what you see” which of course makes her scream when they startle her. This brings Annabelle and lots of other guards very quickly. Ruby brings up the old friendship of their two houses when Annabelle threatens them for endangering everyone on board for harboring fugitives. She pulls out the letter from Morris which says he’s hiding in the city with a rescued Manta Ray Jack. When Ruby supports that she tried to help him escape, she proves to Annabelle that she was the “spirit” the letter described, surprising and impressing the Captain. They describe how Lapin and Preston died escaping. Primsy consoles a weeping Liam.
Annabelle asks why the group chose the Colby to stow away on, stating that House Cheddar can do nothing to help Candia, without having their actions being viewed as an act of war. Ruby says don’t make us make you choose. Annabelle says that any attempts to make them do anything would end in lots of violence. Amethar urges that they have no intentions for violence, and that helping them get to the mountains would help Joren, the man who helped the Dairy Islands when they needed it. Liam pleads with them to help his father, and to help him kill Keradin.
Assessing the terrible options before her, and acknowledging that the ship is down one crate of provisions, Annabelle rules that they will go as fast as possible to Lacramore and the Candians will be their guests and prisoners. The council of the Duchess is going to decide their fate once they arrive. They are given quarters and food. Once they’re on their own, Liam discusses that he’s filled with revenge and doesn’t want to go to Lacramore. Amethar talks with him about how he should work on channeling his rage.
Primsy invites them to the captain’s quarters for after-dinner tea. She reassures them that she knows they’re good people, but she won’t do or say anything that endangers her land and people. Liam sneaks off while the twins try to convince her to taking more direct action in helping their situation, by giving them a row boat and a sailor. Primsy knows that she’s in charge and that Stilton does a good job of helping her remember that. Theo asks if Stilton has enemies within his house. She says no, to which they bring up the blue cheese marauders that attempted to assassinate Amethar. Primsy mentions all the spaces that cleared in the succession line to the house he now leads, as well as the religious vows he made as a child. She also says that Plumbeline had written him, saying that if Amethar turned down the title of emperor, that Primsy would have been named empress. She found Stilton to be very sweet when he first started courting her, and despite Annabelle’s initial dislike of him, Primsy is a strong woman. She said he makes her happy, so Annabelle eventually got on board. She’s excited for him to have the upgrade from House Bleu to House Cheddar, and that the line of succession would go to their children, or him if something were to happen to her.
Theo does some thinking out loud with her. He brings up the bleu soldier attack on the road, her marriage to Lord Bleu, that he would become the ruler of the Dairy Islands if something were to happen to her, and warns to be careful around him. Jet tells him that maybe he shouldn’t be talking like this on her wedding day. Primsy dismisses them from tea, saying it’s been ruined and that she’s going to wave at her husband, who’s on his house’s ship right now. Jet secretly follows her up there.
Liam snuck out to find Annabelle. He discusses the slaughter that was the cathedral and impresses upon her the degree to which they need to go directly to the mountains. As recompense, he would have his father thank her personally, as well as offer information, and/or an experience, with one of his 35 parents/parental figures. In response, she tells him to stand still and attempts to slap him. She misses, distracted by something on the horizon. She sees something strange and walks off. Liam follows.
As they reach the Yogurt Shoals, Annabelle (and Jet in the crow’s nest) see that all but the Colby and the two House Bleu ships sail off in an unexpected direction. A storm rolls in, and Annabelle tells Primsy to come down from the crow’s nest. Arrows from House Bleu start striking hull. Annabelle calls the crew to have the ship go top speed, but the sails have been damaged so it cannot. One of the ships rams the Colby, causing a great deal of damage. The front half of the ship starts to dip below the yogurt depths, and initiative is rolled.
Locations[]
- Comida
- Pulp Bay
- Yogurt Shoals
Featured Characters[]
The Taste Buds[]
- King Amethar of House Rocks
- Princess Jet Rocks
- Princess Ruby Rocks
- Sir Theobald Gumbar
- Liam Wilhelmina of House Jawbreaker
- Chancellor Lapin Cadbury (†) (mentioned)
New[]
- Duke Joren Jawbreaker (flashback)
- Princess Sapphria of House Rocks (†) (flashback)
- Saint Citrina of House Rocks (†) (flashback)
- Spearia Mentha (flashback)
Returning[]
|
Mentioned[]
- Catherine Ghee
- Manta Ray Jack
- Pontifex Belizabeth Brassica
- Cumulous Rocks
- Dracoria Azucar (sensed by Liam Wilhelmina)
Trivia[]
- The title of this episode is a play on the title of season 2 of Dimension 20, Escape from the Bloodkeep.
- During the episode, Brian Murphy rolls a natural two on a persuasion check, and Brennan Lee Mulligan cheekily responds with, "Hey, shout out to the two crew." This is a reference to Not Another D&D Podcast, Brian Murphy and Emily Axford's D&D podcast, wherein the phrase is said whenever players roll natural twos.