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Every Day is Our Wurst Day is the fourth episode of A Starstruck Odyssey.

Intro[]

"Last we left off, we were aboard Rec 97. That's right, folks, the glittering emerald chaos of one of the galaxy's greatest and best recreation stations, having just taken a job on the newly-minted The Wurst. Our crew came together under the guidance and supervision of new shareholder in this Amercadian retrofitted freighter, Margaret Encino. We took to the streets of Rec 97, looking for credits however we could get them, and downloading the proldier app Smash 'n Grab, got hooked up with a job on the Blue Heaven level of Rec 97, from one Hyacinth Khrome, who had a cool 25.000 credits if you could make a doggy disappear."

Synopsis[]

The crew treats themselves to a nice time at the spa of the Obfusion Arms. For the rest of the night, Margaret, Sidney, Skip, and Riva plan to scope out the room Lucienne booked under the name Madeline Maud for the Princeps Zortch to stay in while Gunnie and Barry are going to find chef’s tools. Gunnie, with a thinly-veiled desire to gamble, convinces himself and Barry that they could find chef’s tools at a nearby casino called the Emerald Comet House of Fortune and they head off.

Margaret, Sidney, Skip and Riva head up to the floor where Lucienne’s room is. Skip stands near the stairway entrance as the lookout, Margaret and Sidney head down the hall towards the room, and Riva is between the two parties in order to facilitate communication via telepathy. Margaret tells the member of the cleaning staff that’s going around changing bed sheets that she’s locked herself out of her room, and promises to show him her keycard if he unlocks the room for her. He doesn’t buy it. Margaret realizes that it doesn’t make sense for staff to be cleaning at 11 o’clock at night, and peering into the room he was just in, she sees that the sheets were not done well. He pulls a blaster pistol from the cleaning cart, and points it at her. At the same time, the door Skip is posted up at bursts open.

Sidney throws a stun grenade at the door near Skip, stunning one of two hotel security guards that come running in. She disarms the unstunned guard of his blaster pistol, and speeds down the hallway towards Margaret. Skip goes down the hall, “arms completely neutral, sprinting at a 45 degree angle,” to where Margaret is, scaring the cleaning guy. Margaret grapples the pistol out of his hand. She points the pistol at the guy, asking who he works for. Right as he’s about to give it all up, Skip takes out his vibro-rapier and slits his throat. Skip also rummages through his pockets and finds a credit card, a UFTP clearance badge, and fake documents for his “employment” at the hotel.

Margaret books it to Lucienne’s room. She also notes that the Princeps must be somewhat in the dark about Lucienne’s plans since this UFTP operative was disguised instead of openly keeping watch on the room. Riva uses their telekinesis to clean up the blood and hide the operative’s body in the cleaning cart. Margaret opens the door, immediately being blinded by light. There’s a humanoid alien levitating as an extremely luminous vortex of energy fills the room.

Barry and Gunnie make it to the Emerald Comet House of Fortune casino. A server seats them at a blackjack table and gets them drinks. Gunnie, still in denial about his desire to gamble, asks about chef’s tools. While the server goes to the kitchen to check, the dealer gives them two credit chips on the house. Gunnie plays one hand and doubles the credits to four before losing all four credits the next hand. Barry and Gunnie convince themselves to bet all 500 credits. Barry plays the hand while Gunnie counts cards; they lose all 500 credits, though Gunnie does not get caught for counting cards. With no money left to even buy the chef’s tools, they trade a heavy repeater and a light pistol for 500 credits worth of chips to play another hand. Gunnie counts cards and plays the hand himself; he loses.

Security guards, suspicious that he’s counting cards, come up to Gunnie saying that they noticed unusual movement in his cybernetic eye, and ask for the serial number. No reports about a malfunction in the eye come up, and as they’re pressuring him into making a report, Gunnie makes a run for it and yells at Barry to do the same. The security guards flag his eye, causing a message to appear in front of him saying that his medical loans have been transferred to Repo Reapers. Four other threatening messages come up, urging him to give up his location so that they can repossess his cybernetic limbs. Gunnie and Barry sprint back to the Obfusion Arms.

Back at the Obfusion Arms, the light has faded. The levitating alien, who Margaret recognizes as the Princeps Zortch, falls down onto the bed, unconscious. The object producing the light, a complex silvery polyhedral shape, thuds to the floor. Sidney touches the object and shuts down, experiencing a software update as this piece of technology is installing drivers on her in order to communicate. Margaret gets into the Princeps’ phone. She finds texts between Lucienne and the Princeps Zortch which show that Lucienne is the one that got the Princeps off of Rubian V; the subtext also shows that Zortch trusts her fully. Margaret helps Sidney boot back up. Sidney, now having interfaced with this object, recognizes that it’s experiencing fear. Its last memories were of Zortch attempting to communicate to it that it is a part of and also the whole of something called Gnosis. Margaret is also able to unlock the phone of the dead UFTP agent and finds messages from Lucienne’s fiance, Natalia Cicero Connie Lee Carter Bajar. The crew sets off the fire alarm, grabs Zortch and Gnosis, and makes a run for it.

Gunnie and Barry make it back to the Obfusion Arms, where there are now crowds of fire department personnel and Rec Pols. A man comes up to the duo asking if they know Margaret, to which they deny. The man catches them in their lie with photos of the crew at the spa. He orders for them to be taken into custody, but Barry grabs Gunnie and runs towards the ship. Gunnie shoots a light beam at the agents chasing them, blinding them except for the one who initially interrogated them. Instead of using the Downsy-Daisy, Barry jumps down hundreds of levels to get down to the docking station.

Everyone converges back on the ship. Margaret officially re-registers the ship as “The Wurst” to cover their tracks since UFTP will be looking for the Red Hot. The crew tries to understand what Gnosis is while the Princeps Zortch remains unconscious but stable. Through Riva’s psychic powers and Gunnie’s tech knowledge, we learn that Gnosis is a holofract--a fraction of a much larger entity, but also the whole of that larger entity--and an organic computer. The size of the larger entity that Gnosis was cut out of is roughly the size of a moon, like Rubian V. Gunnie defibrillates Zortch, waking them up. Margaret explains the situation with Lucienne and shows them her Reddit posts, earning their trust.

Zortch explains the origins of Gnosis. After the war on Rubian V and Zortch’s grandparents signing of the mining contract with UFTP, Zortch’s parent commissioned scientists to create an artificial intelligence to aid communication on the planet. This artificial intelligence started to write its own software and build its own hardware with the resources on the moon. At first, it was only within computers, but it was able to get out, permeate the entire moon, and give it sentience. The intelligence that they now know as Gnosis is in the core of the moon, which UFTP is mining away at. Zortch’s parent wants to rebel against UFTP and use Gnosis to make Rubian V the center of a galactic empire, prompting Zortch to contact Lucienne to stop their parent from doing so. She promised them that if they came to Rec 97, the two of them could save Gnosis together. The crew decides to take Zortch and Gnosis with them, so neither of them fall into the wrong hands. The next morning, Zortch reveals there were chef’s tools on the ship all along.

The crew and Zortch make their way to the dog show. While they’re still outside, they spot Aurora Nebbins, a royal blue Mastiff, which is a very aggressive “freakish 20-foot long monster.” Sidney and Skip sneak in through a back way. Sidney encounters a sensor that scans her ID chip, and it comes up as “Whitney.” The rest of the party go in through the front. While looking for Aurora Nebbins backstage, a pink pug named Melon starts freaking out at the sight of Skip. The crew gets into position to dog-nap Aurora with Barry posted up by the door. A stranger comes up behind Barry and starts ribbing him. Barry punches him, causing alarms to go off as the stranger shouts, “That’s not part of the plan!” The pug breaks out of its chains, leaps onto Skip, and shoves its tongue into Skip’s eye. The pug, which has actually been possessed by a Cerebroslug, tells Skip, AKA Prince Valdrinor, that his father King Prilbus wants him to come back so that the Great Emhatchening can commence. The pug is pulled away from Skip by the owner. The pug’s owner, presumably also Cerebroslugged, pulls out a blaster pistol and fires into the crowd.

As the alarms go off, Sidney throws an ion grenade at the androids, forcing them to reboot, and hops on Aurora Nebbins. Riva makes the dog hallucinate while Margaret shoots the chains off of it. Aurora Nebbins bites her owner’s head off. The stranger with Barry shoots at Zortch nearby, but misses, saying that him and Barry were “supposed to do the job.” Sidney rides Aurora Nebbins through the main stage. As all the cameras are on her, she says, “I’ve been Warfare Whitney. You can’t trust me!” Skip shoots the pug. The guy Barry was fighting with accidentally reveals that he works for Barry Nyne and has confused one for the other. He tries to jetpack away, but Skip jumps onto him, forcing him to give Skip the jetpack.

As everyone runs out, Riva gets out of their psychodrone and back to the ship to boost systems up. They also get an email from the Pleasure Putty factory expressing concerns about the bachelorette party being so enthusiastic that it’s hard to manage. Skip flies to the Emerald Comet casino to meet with Salazar and retrieve the payment. As Skip flies back, the Pleasure Putty factory explodes from Zvoon’s excitement. He also sees on the Rootersnoos screens that Norman Takamori is wanted for the murders of the 12 Sisters of the Cosmic Veil. Everyone converges near the docking station where they are confronted with the Amercadian Space Brigade coming to arrest Norman and Rec Pols trying to get Aurora Nebbins back as hot Pleasure Putty rains down on them.

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Mentioned[]

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