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Headmistress Boudicca Philtrum is the headmistress of Gowpenny Academy of Arcane Arts.

Featured Episodes[]

Episodes Featuring Headmistress Philtrum
Misfits and Magic

Description[]

Headmistress Philtrum is a tall woman in her mid-50s with very pale skin who wears spangly blue and silver robes covered in shooting stars that are constantly moving. She also wears a big, ridiculous, stupid-looking witch hat.

History[]

The Chosen Ones[]

Somewhere far away from the Magical Misfits, sitting in a set of dark robes, Headmistress Philtrum watches as Evan Kelmp signs his acceptance letter to Gowpenny and grimaces as he swallows the pellet. She changes into whimsical, starry blue robes and teleports away, stating "It begins." Soon after the Magical Misfits arrive in Vertiq Alley, the Headmistress appears in front of them in a flash of blue and silver light. She greets them cheerfully and informs them that they're the school's first ever foreign exchange students.

When Evan asks if the textbooks and supplies will be comparably expensive to American textbooks, the Headmistress assures them that the school understands that they all come from Namp families, and will be provided with a stipend of wizard gold. Before she can get there, however, the group begins to protest the term "Namp", as it sounds even worse than "M*ggle". The Headmistress tries in vain to stop them all from saying it, as they are no longer non-magical and are not allowed to say the word. As Jammer continues to say the M-word proudly over and over, the Headmistress casts a spell on him that magically seals his mouth shut.

The group discusses whether or not this course of action is technically corporal punishment since England doesn't have the same basic right to freedom of speech that the US does, and when Jammer's mouth unsticks, he complains about the old-British-sweets taste, mentioning he would have preferred a McDonald's dollar menu ice cream sweet instead. Confused by what McDonald's is, the Headmistress begins to explain that they'll have to work to unlearn some of the bad habits that they were raised into as Namps, until she gets distracted by Sam as she takes selfies with her cellphone. The Headmistress objects, saying that they'll also have to get used to not using their electronic devices, as they won't work inside the school.

Evan wonders what kind of services the school will be offering, and working off her knowledge of Harry Potter, Dream assumes they'll be getting their supplies and then going off to a whimsical academy to have grand adventures. She brings it up to the Headmistress when asked how she knows this, but Philtrum seems not to know what Harry Potter or movies are. When Dream attempts to get a baseline for what she does or doesn't know about, she brings up Billie Eilish, and the Headmistress points to Billy Frumpshire, a gnome walking by.

Before they can get off track any further, she provides them each with a pouch of 20 gold coins to spend on their school supplies, but it quickly gets off track again when she mentions it comes from a Namp fund. The conversation devolves yet again into attempting to gauge what words she does or doesn't know. When she informs them that the school doesn't have bathrooms since they can just magic away their waste, Jammer expresses a desire to go home, even though he was excited to be recruited for sports. Frustrated with how long the introductions are taking, the Headmistress tells him their magical sport will all be explained later.

She reiterates the pilot program that they're a part of, but realizes that the more she explains, the weirder things get. She implores that there are lots of people counting on the group to show up and do what it is in their nature to do, then summons a small, ringing purple owl-- a clear reference to a telephone, as Evan points out-- to excuse herself for more pressing business. Before she can leave, she informs them that the three essential items for them to purchase are a wand, a broom, and a familiar. Evan asks to have a private word with her and explains that he may not end up needing any of those, as even though there's probably an educational track they've been set on, he's come to get his magic removed.

The Headmistress scoffs at his request, and Evan snarls in response, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about". She pulls out a colorful set of magnification glasses and becomes aware of something when she scrutinizes his face that sets her into a much more serious mood. She promises him a consultation when he arrives at the school and tells him to try to enjoy himself in the meantime. Evan asks her not to tell him what to do, and in a weird tone that his brain can't quite translate, she replies, "I know exactly who I'm talking to." She turns to the rest of the group to bid them all farewell and teleports away mid-sentence.

Trivia[]

  • A philtrum is the groove between the upper lip and the base of the nose.
  • She’s likely named after the celtic “warrior queen” called Boudicca in England.
Misfits and Magic Characters
Player Characters Dream | Sam Black | Whitney Jammer | Evan Kelmp
Non-Player
Characters
PC Families and Familiars Janet and Maurice Tanaka | Sam's Mother | Terminator 2 | Jammer's Basketball | Theodore | Evan's Shadow
Gowpenny
Academy of
Arcane Arts
Faculty Headmistress Boudicca Philtrum | Sausage | Dr. Norman Boodle | Professor Viniscus | Nurse David Stitchnit |The Frunthwinkle
Hercinil Tallulah Jillymont | Fergus Ponst | Digsby Cooper | Khanh Nguyen
Aqrabus
Messanteu
Chimeron Coggle and Hoggle Undergus | Anamika | Peter | Lemli Irving | Frink
Other Roger | Jammer's Coach | Juice Freshman | Vertiq Alley Shopkeepers | Freya | Confirmation Dais | Golden Snitch Kid


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