Laertes Astrindarius is a member of The Society of Shadows and worked towards getting Penny Luckstone to join the society.
Featured Episodes[]
| Episodes Featuring Laertes |
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The Seven
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Description[]
Laertes is a Halfling rogue and master of disguise, who wears a straw hat. He is a member of The Society of Shadows. His disguises include a "Raggedy Andy" type scarecrow doll, a wooden duck and a novelty snowman.
Desipte His First Impression, Laertes's Actual Role is a Low-Ranking Recruiting Agent in the Society, Rather than the Master Rogue Penny Luckstone Mistook Him For.
He is at First Calm and Suave, But has Poor Constitution, is Fooled easily and Has a Propensity For Sharing Secrets loudly about His Extremely Covert Society.
History[]
Belles of the Baronies[]
Laertes Surprises Penny By Being Hidden in a Scarecrow Doll. He Asks Why She Hasn't Responded to their Apprenticeship Offer, As Most Respond Almost Immediately. When Penny Learns that in Order to join the Society, Her Family & Friends will have to have their Memories of Her Removed, and She Will Never be able to Talk to Them Again, She Seems More Reluctant to Join, But on a Poor Roll, Laertes Does not Pick up on this.
After Losing Most of his Clothes, He Wears a Single Pant Leg (He's Very Small) That Penny Steals From Dunston Tallbreeze On the Street. He then Eats the "Why?" Candies From Candyheart's Body, And Immediately Gets Intense Food Poisoning and Starts Shitting and Vomiting.
I Fucking Love You[]
Laertes, Between episodes 6 & 10, Waits in a Plastic Snowman in Slappy McFinnigans For Around A Week For Her to Arrive. She Proposes An Eating Challenge With him, To Either eat The Candyhearts With the "I Get it" on Them in her Left hand or a Fuzzy Ball in Her Right to Laertes. He Severely Misunderstands and eats Both, Giving Himself Intense Food Poisoning Again, And Causing a Spectral Owl to Spawn in his Stomach. He Starts Rolling Around in the Cieling in the Plastic Snowman, With Invisibility and levitation Cast on it, Talking Loudly About The Society of Shadows, Which is Recorded and Goes Viral. Penny Gives the Command for the Owl to Get out, Resulting in it Violently Ejecting itself From his Butthole.
Quotes[]
"The most secretive man in the world is wearing one pant leg and shitting and barfing up a horse." ― Rekha Shankar About Laertes
"(Crying) The Society of Shadows is an unparalleled group of the world's finest rogues." ― Laertes
"Please, I'm part of the Society of Shadows. Please call my guild representative. Tell them I'm trapped in the rafters shitting myself again." ― Laertes