Quangle in Queal Quife is the first episode of Time Quangle, a series of live shows recorded in the UK. This episode was recorded at SEC Armadillo in Glasgow on April 17, 2024.
Synopsis[]
Entering the Quangle[]
Ylfa Snorgelsson spots something that looks 'Quangly'. She wanders off the path to investigate and finds a cottage made of candy. When Ylfa knocks on the door, a witch, with a chin coverage in blood, answers it ands says "I got them this time". Behind the Witch, Ylfa sees the feet of Hansel and Gretel (whom she refers to as 'The Sour Patch Kids') sticking out of a cauldron.
A peppermint column inside the cottage fractures and out pops Liam Wilhelmina and Peppermint Preston. Liam says that he was "banged down a tunnel" before he found himself in the witch's cottage. He and Ylfa bond over "not" having pink eye. The Witch yells at them to "STOP BONDING" before Liam and Ylfa take fire damage from hot candied peanuts exploding out of the wall. Rowan Berry and Ricky Matsui enter the cottage. Ricky says that he was running in central park with Rowan on his shoulders for resistance when they got Quangled. Upon their arrival the Witch attempts to banish Ricky and Rowan but is quickly counterspelled by Rowan. As Rowan casts the spell, the world of the Neverafter begins to transform her into its idea of what a fairy should be, and wings begin to grow out of her back.
The Witch, now frustrated by the counterspell, reaches to break off a piece of her cottage to use as a weapon. She grabs Triangle mint cookies as Barry Syx emerges into the cottage. Barry says that he was chasing Barry Nyne through a series of dimensional portals before he found himself in the cottage. Ylfa says that having a clone sounds really special which causes Barry to cry. The Witch yells "How many times must I say STOP BONDING" then the group rolls initiative.
Cottage Encounter[]
The Witch calls upon the powers of her cottage, Rowan failed the saving throw and receives 3 levels of exhaustion. The peppermint column portal didn't close like the others, fire begins to erupt and Liam smells dragon. Rowan casts polymorph on the Witch turning her into a really mean, shitty milk sheep, immediately ending the encounter.
Intro to the Quangle[]
The milk sheep leaps into the cauldron turning it into a gummy stew. The cauldron shakes, the cottage trembles, beginning to crack open and a massive candy dragon explodes from the floor and flies off into the forest. The cauldron tips over causing Hansel and Gretel's bodies topple out and onto the floor. Their bodies now reanimated with boiled sheep milk, Hansel and Gretel stand up in the ruins of the cottage and touch heads. Their eyes glow white and they begin to speak in unison. Ylfa tries to bring them back to themselves by asking them to remember their time together on the lacrosse team. This works briefly as Gretel addresses Ylfa but they were too close to the Hot Nuts New York Portal and Gretel begins to speak New Yorker. Hansel and Gretel eyes turn white again and they start speaking in unison in Arthur Aguefort's voice. Ylfa asks if they were always one person, Arthur is confused until Ayda helps him pair to Gretel so that she can pair with Hansel.
Hansel and Gretel's eye continue to glow white as Ayda (Hansel) and Arthur (Gretel) introduce themselves to the PCs and inform them that what has happened to them is called a Time Quangle. Arthur says he can fix the Quangle by the PCs going back through their portals and him remotely exploding "one or both of these German children". Ylfa protest and Ayda chimes in that there is, in fact, several ways to reboot a Quangle and asks if anyone there is from a high technology future. Barry steps up and Arthur sends a high technology computer through the German child. Gretel vomits a crystalline supercomputer. Barry is at a loss of what to do with the computer and tries to call Gunnie. When he is unsuccessful, Ricky calls Esther Sinclair on facetime (with help from Rowan about which button to press).
Esther answered the phone, panicked, and tells Ricky he needs to get to her as fast as possible because Pete Conlan's peppermint tooth is spreading all over his head. Esther asks Ricky where he is and he tells her that he fell into a Quangle and he needs help with this computer. Esther passes the phone to JJ Jacobs, who is able to send runes from Ricky apple watch to the supercomputer. Using the supercomputer, Arthur tells the PCs that they can resolve the Quangle by feeding a dragon's heart to a pig in the ruins of this candy cottage.
[Intermission][]
The Quangled Quest[]
The PCs tell Arthur and Ayda to stay at the cottage while they go after the dragon. Liam uses his primeval awareness and senses the dragon on the is enraged and fearful, the fear is sent to Liam as a shudder as he senses the Dragon is near a river of pure water - which is deadly and corrosive to Candians. Liam feels the Dragon moving towards a village. The PCs sprints as fast as they can, Ylfa wild shapes into a bear and Barry Syx rides on top of her.
Rowan falls behind, partly because she is still exhausted, partly because she is disgusted by Ylfa and Liam. As she walks after the group, she hears a voice from the opening of a nearby cave. The voice asks if Rowan wants to know the secrets of the sisterhood of which she has always belonged. The Orange Fairy steps forward and asks Rowan if the Quangle is really a problem or the solution. Rowan firmly states her disinterest. The Orange Fairy then attempts to polymorph Rowan to force her to join her plan. Rowan counter spells.
The rest of the group finds the Dragon running through a pasture, screaking at the village well. The Quangle moves across the dragon's face as the Cricket's voice says "Don't drink water!".
Fighting the Dragon[]
Rowan tells The Orange Fairy that she doesn't have time for "whatever this is" and dimension doors to the fight. She arrives at the fight and gives Liam bardic inspiration. Liam uses his crossbow to shoot the dragon. Liam's first shot misses. As the arrow bounces off the dragon's scales harmlessly, Liam sees one possible future where he and the dragon are friends and 20 more possible futures where the dragon eats him. Liam attacks two more times, hitting both times, one of them being a critical hit. The dragon's tail whips around, bludgeoning Liam.
Ylfa, still in bear-form, wrestles the dragon's head to the ground and begins to drag it down into the well. With her second attack, Ylfa goes for the full swirlie, however the dragon is able to resist his head going completely into water but still takes some splash damage. With the dragon's head stuck in the well, he trashes his tail. Ricky dodges the tail and begins to beat the dragon with his bat.
The Dragon uses his breath weapon down into the water of the well. There is a terrible whistling (similar to that of a kettle), steam begins to seep out of the grass and the heated water explodes up, rocketing Ylfa out of the well and into the sky. Ylfa hits the ground but is able to remain in her bear form.
Barry says "Well done kid. Time for me to finish the swirlie!". Barry attempts to drag the dragon's head back into the well, Rowan uses cutting words to help by calling the dragon ugly. Barry corkscrews down the well and completes the full swirlie. Barry cries, telling the dragon that he is "sorry for bullying" him as the sugar of the dragon's head melts in the water.
After the Battle[]
Preston runs over to a nearby tree, devores a nut and makes a wish. Then the melting head of the dragon splits and through the Quangle a little cricket springs free and leaps onto Barry's shoulder. The Cricket tells Barry that he's okay now that he's free of the dragon. Ylfa says that the Cricket must have reached out because of his need for water. The Cricket insists that he's doing great without water and that he doesn't need it because he puts icing on potato chips. Ricky then creates 10 gallons of water on the cricket and remarks that he forgot he could do that. Refreshed from the water, the Cricket's voice deepens and he tells the PCs that they have restored the dragon of Candia.
The dragon has returned to Candia, leaving behind a lumpen hill of cinnamon candy with the spines of the dragon. The Quangle rips open, Adaine runs out with a bowl of shrimp and hands a pool skimmer to Liam. Liam attempts to skim the dragon's heart out of the cinnamon blood and water. Ylfa (still as a bear) dives into the dragon's dead body. Ylfa finds the heart and realizes that it has the power of a true wish. She is tempted to use the wish to skip past puberty but tells herself to do the right thing for her new friends. The Bear Ylfa emerges with the dragon heart.
Nara, the orange fairy, steps out of the forest. She attempts to entice the PCs to stay in the Neverafter. The group is greatly offended by this and deny her. In a rage, the orange fairy attacks Peppermint Preston. Ricky counterspells the attacks, turning them back on the fairy. The bolts hit the fairy's top hat and she dies.
Resolving the Quangle[]
The PCs return to the cottage ruins, only for Gretel (with Arthur's voice) to tell the group that he figured out another way to resolve the Quangle and that all of that was unnecessary. The group is confused by this change and asks several follow up questions. When Gretel is unable to answer these questions, it is revealed that Arthur is no longer the one controlling Gretel and King Prilbus has come looking for his son. He points a laser gun at Barry as the green slug pokes out of Gretel's nose. Barry is shot several times. Liam comes to Barry's rescue and shoots King Prilbus out of Gretel's nose, killing him. Gretel briefly returns to her body, only for Arthur to immediately posses her again.
Arthur and Ayda tell the group that they do need to feed the heart to a pig. Liam says that Preston is probably still full from the seed he ate but maybe if they make the heart look like Preston's favorite food, nachos, he'll eat it. Ricky then pulls out a blender to turn the heart into a cheesy, cinnamon-y, bloody smoothie, which Preston excitedly drinks. After finishing the smoothie, Preston begins to float with the Cricket. Preston's third eye opens and he speaks to Liam telling him that he is grateful for all timelines where they were friends. Then Preston undoes the Quangle.
As the portals reopen, Jan De La Vaga shoves the nose of her ship into the Quangle. She states that she's here for "that fairy-tale gold" and says that she will only leave if someone cuts her a deal. Rowan tells her that everyone here has pink eye and Jan immediately activates faster than light travel and flees. After Jan leaves, Arthur and Ayda appear separated from Hansel and Gretel. Hansel and Gretel thank the group for turning the Witch into a milk sheep and bringing them back to life. Hansel and Gretel then skip off, telling Ylfa that they will see her at lacrosse practice.
Arthur tells the PCs that using the power of Chronomancy they can divert the timelines and visit each other's worlds. Liam swears that he will go with Ricky where ever he goes. Ylfa says that nothing is keeping her here in the Neverafter and Barry says that he has completed his goal of killing the slug and he's pretty sure that there are time machines in his world so he's good to go to New York.
As the Quangle resolves, the PCs, peppermint Preston, Arthur, Ayda and the Cricket all go to New York City.
Locations[]
- The Neverafter
- New York City
- Gramercy Occult Society (mentioned)
Featured Characters[]
Player Characters[]
- Big Barry Syx (A Starstruck Odyssey)
- Ylfa Snorgelsson (Neverafter)
- Ricky Matsui (The Unsleeping City)
- Liam Wilhelmina (A Crown of Candy)
- Rowan Berry (The Unsleeping City)
New[]
- Candy Cottage Witch (Neverafter)
- Hansel and Gretel (Neverafter)
- The Boy Who Cried Wolf (Neverafter)
Returning[]
Fantasy High[]
The Unsleeping City[]
A Crown of Candy[]
- Peppermint Preston
- Cinnamon [Quangled with Cricket]
A Starstruck Odyssey[]
Neverafter[]
- Nara, The Orange Fairy
- Cricket [Quangled with Cinnamon (A Crown of Candy)]
Mentioned[]
Fantasy High[]
The Unsleeping City[]
A Starstruck Odyssey[]
Neverafter[]
Clips[]
