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“He created me in his image, except that it was completely different”
Squing is the first vampire sired by Count Dracula. His name is pronounced with a soft G, like Squinge or Squinj. He is played by Zac Oyama.
Description[]
Appearance[]
Squing is a nosferatu style vampire with a first season homer simpson style potato shaped head. He is as pasty as it is possible to be. His body is hale and hearty, but his skin is soft, and his head and skin have been compared to raisins, memory foam, pasta, a slug, a soft boiled egg, and a thumb. His head is mouldable and sometimes grows, and he can grow wings which look like newly grown bone and smell like a new piercing. He believes himself to be beautiful.
Squing wears a beautiful vibrant blue silk garment, a ruffled collar blouse, and baby blue bloomers which make him look like a creepy old painting of a little boy. Later in the season, he also wears an old newsie cap which he stole from Florina.
Personality[]
Squing has to fight to be respected as an adult, and not treated like a little boy, but he is prone to taking advantage of this, including asking Granny Dalca to frequently climb 7 flights of stairs to bring him a raisin cookie and a sippy cup full of blood warmed up to body temperature. He is “a leader in theory and in practise, not at all. I don’t like to maybe finish tasks, accomplish things, or do anything that is not of ceremonial importance”. Squing finds it painful to think of anyone but himself and Dracula.
Squing loves to eat letters, especially Sasha's letters to his wife.
Like May, sometimes he has trouble telling the difference between European Culture and Vampire Magic.
Background[]
It is unknown when Squing was born, he thinks it might have been the year 2, but he is older than the separation of Pangaea, and does not know much about “modern” technology such as trains, as when he was a child people would just have to fall down mountains.
He was the first person to be turned into a vampire by Dracula, and it seems that he was been by his side ever since.
When he first met Drago, Drago ran him over with a carriage, thinking he was a Geist from the Swamp. He cried out when all four of the horses trampled him, but all in all he took it like a champ. He's basically walking Road Kill.
History[]
Relationships[]
Dr. Aleksandr Astrovsky[]
Sasha is fascinated by Squing's anatomy and deeply wants to study it, but Squing won't let him take samples. Their relationship later turns sour when Sasha discovers that Squing has been eating his letters to his estranged wife, and Sasha threatens to cut open his stomach. They move later into a slightly less aggressive tolerance of each other, but Sasha is still very angry.
Count Dracula[]
Count Dracula is Squing's vampire sire and self-described “father in spirit and in the un-life.” Squing was the first vampire Dracula sired, leading to their close father-son like relationship. Dracula cares deeply for Squing, telling him that the day he created Squing, he did the one good thing he needed to do to atone for his sins and if he were ever to lose Squing, he would lose the brightest part of his soul.
Squing cares for him in return, being the one to carry his body away from fights where necessary. He spends the two months Dracula is gone writing poems about him, but is unable to finish them, as he couldn't find a word that rhymes with Dracula.
May Wong[]
Squing is May's adoptive son and later right-hand man. She refers to him affectionately as “horrible little festering child of mine”.
Wetzel[]
Wetzel considers Sasha, May, and Squing to be his best friends, although this is not audibly reciprocated.
Zaria[]
Squing views all of Dracula's wives as his "mommies", including Zaria.
Trivia[]
- Squing loves to eat letters.
- Because of his love to eat letters, Squing pees blood, but he doesn't "poo-poo".
- Red heads go straight to his thighs.
- The name “Squing” was chosen by Emily Axford, as when Zac Oyama was with the Not Another D&D Podcast crew, he asked them for name suggestions and she responded immediately and excitedly with “Squing”.
| Coffin Run Characters | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Player Characters | Squing | May Wong | Dr. Aleksandr Astrovsky | Wetzel | |||
| Non-Player Characters |
Castle Dracula | Count Dracula | Madam Malquet | Marina Astrovsky | Drago | Zarb Dimitri | Setzer | Florina | Zaria | Christine | Keith | Fifi | Sebastian | ||
| Anti-Vampires Vampire Club | Razvan the Reborn | Kieran | Percival the Ever-Pentinent | Ludwina Bobbert | Toby Keith | Beatrice | Jimothy | Rasputin | Perkins | |||
| Allied International Monster Slayers | Daciana Lee | Patrice | Tatonka | Fang | Samir | Raviana | |||
| Miscellaneous | Granny Dalca | Mikhail | Emil Ward Benjamin Strum | Emilia Ward | Bernadette | |||