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The Chosen Ones is the first episode of season 9, Misfits and Magic.
Four American students, Whitney Jammer, Karen Tanaka, Samantha Butler, and Evan Kelmp, are visited by owls bearing letters inviting them to attend Gowpenny Academy of Arcane Arts. The four accept and they are teleported off to Vertiq Alley in a town close by the school. They are greeted by Headmistress Boudicca Philtrum who informs them of the school's new foreign exchange program and ushers them off to buy the essentials: a wand, a broom, and a familiar. While shopping, they encounter mixed feelings about the exchange program, are unsure exactly how much modern technology this magical world is aware of, and get Mean Girl'd by several fellow Gowpenny students: Tallulah Jillymont, Fergus Ponst, and Digsby Cooper. The Magical Misfits successfully acquire their supplies, but an outburst by Evan in the middle of the street complicates things.
Introduction[]
Synopsis[]
In the south side of Chicago, Illinois, Whitney Jammer is at basketball practice one day after school when he is visited by a mysterious brown and white speckled owl. He stops drills to call attention to it, but his coach and teammates don't see it, suggesting he go outside and rehydrate to clear his head. Outside, he sees the owl on the sidewalk carrying a large, rectangular envelope. Jammer leans in to touch it to make sure that it's real, and it drops the envelope at his feet.
He reads the letter, informing him that he's been accepted to Gowpenny Academy of Arcane Arts, and is disgusted when the owl barfs his teleportation pellet at his feet. He reluctantly picks it up and heads back inside to inform his team. They don't believe him in the slightest and think he might have a concussion, even when he pulls out the owl's pellet. After explaining that he'll be going to bird school next year, the team goes along with it for his benefit and tells him to go home, but he doubles back when a freshman begins to cry. He does a team chant to reassure them and promises to bring back juice from the juice fountains that all private schools have.
In Seattle, Washington, Karen Tanaka, better known online as Dream, is in a heated Twitter argument when an enormous owl, carrying a massive envelope in its beak, slams into her window. Having read Harry Potter, Dream is immediately thrilled. She enthusiastically throws open the window to let it in, and the owl is a little intimidated by her intensity. Dream posts online bragging about the letter before opening it.
When the owl is half way through speaking the letter out loud, her mother, whom she calls "Janet", knocks on her door to let her know her TV is a little loud. Concerned about the hostile response Dream gives, she enters and sees the owl sitting in the window. She initially believes that Dream rented the owl on the internet, which Dream denies, but has definitely looked into before. Janet calls her husband, Maurice in, who shares a similar reaction and believes the letter to be a craft that Dream made, which he is very proud of.
As Dream insists that she'll be going to magic school and that they can't stop her, they continue to support her, but as Dream suggests several times, they truly do not understand and believe this behavior might be caused from bullying at school. After a brief discussion about Dream's online habits, they finally inspect the letter closer and the owl begins reading again, sparking a small breakdown in Janet.
Dream explains to them how much she wants this: all those years of praying to Lucifer and now it's paying off. But more importantly, she's felt different her entire life, and that makes her unique and creative and deserving of this opportunity. When she explains that she would like them to respect her boundaries to allow her to go, they tackle her for a hug and tell her, through tears, to kill everyone if they make them forget her.
In Portland, Oregon, Samantha Butler, better known by her streamer name Sam Black, is in her streaming room in the middle of a mukbang stream eating rice, sausage, and cucumbers, when an owl lands on her windowsill. Since her stream name, displayed on the wall behind her, is "Sam Black" and not the "Samantha Butler" the owl was instructed to deliver to, it sits outside for a good 20 minutes before it taps on the window, startling Sam. She walks away from the stream to investigate, and the chat enters slow mode as her quickly-growing followers wonder if she's in danger of being murdered by a bird. The stream makes it to the front page of Twitch, and eventually makes its way to Whitney Jammer.
As the chat freaks out, Sam opens the window and readies her stance in case she needs to fight the owl, though it does not follow her when she backs up into the room. It stays out of shot of the camera and drops the envelope. Sam picks it up and admires the font and glitter, and compares the owl to a raven bringing good news, which it does not like. In a miraculous turn of events, she and the owl share the same wavelength and she is able to understand the bird completely as it retaliates with a comment about her streaming on Mixer.
Sam suddenly realizes the stream is still running and thanks her mods for handling the chat. She opens the envelope, but before she can start to read, the owl pushes it away with its talon and communicates that it might be better to stop streaming first. Once she does, the bird asks for some cucumber and begins to eat before remembering there were both verbal and barf components to the delivery of the letter.
After reading the letter, Sam asks the owl if "Galpenny" is an adult streaming site, but it turns its head and refuses to answer, so she calls her mother into the room. Sam explains what happens, but her mother gets sidetracked by some internal conflict about why her daughter doesn't realize that the popularity of her sausage and cucumber eating streams has sexual connotations. Sam continues that the owl-- which she names "Sausage" as it has moved onto eating one of her sausages-- delivered her a letter to attend a magic academy, and she asks if she's been enrolled there because of her grades. Her mother ensures her that she did not and hesitates as she considers fighting the owl, a "flying rat". Sam concurs that she almost fought it too, and her mother is relieved at her good instincts, happy to claim Sam as her daughter again, until she tilts her head in confusion at the mention of "dick food". Sausage grabs the remainder of Sam's food and flies away as Sam and her mother have The Talk.
And finally, in Millersburg, Iowa, Evan Kelmp is walking along the highway when an owl appears circling overhead, carrying a large envelope in its beak. It lands in front of him about 20 feet away, drops the envelope, and spreads its wings to bow. Evan pleads with it not to be weird, and it struggles to gain composure, its eyes flickering between bright golden irises and an inky black. It jerks around on the ground, trying to back away, and Evan asks whether or not that's normal before picking the envelope up and opening it.
The owl screeches at him as he does, and he urges it to leave for its own safety, but while it does want to leave, it is still bound by its duties to dictate the letter it delivered. Evan opens the letter to read it and hears a hiss of appreciation in the back of his head. When he finishes, the owl approaches him and coughs up the teleportation pellet along with a splatter of black ichor. Evan begs the owl to make eye contact with him tell him that's normal, but it turns its head around completely.
As the owl leaves, it dips and bobs as it struggles to regain its bearings, and Evan loses sight of it beyond the horizon. Once our of his eye and earshot, however, something snatches it out of the air and laughs menacingly.
Evan wonders how it could have made it across the ocean, as owls cannot lock their wings like albatrosses can, and takes out a pen to sign the letter, informing the school that although he is a minor, he has no legal guardians. He then swallows the pellet, and it is eventually crushed through the processes of peristalsis.
Far away, sitting in a set of dark robes, Headmistress Boudicca Philtrum watches as Evan signs his letter and grimaces as he swallows the pellet. She changes into whimsical, starry blue robes and teleports away, stating "It begins."
Regardless of when the four students received their letters, they all miraculously crush their pellets at the same time and appear side by side in Vertiq Alley. Jammer immediately recognizes Sam from her stream and they bond over their instinct to fight their owls. Sam is also recognized by Dream, who recognizes her back, and Dream asks if she's still frequenting the Sailor Moon message boards. Sam turns to Evan and asks if he got a weird bird too, and he introduces himself. As the group discusses their pellets, Headmistress Philtrum appears in front of them in a flash of blue and silver light. She greets them cheerfully and informs them that they're the school's first ever foreign exchange students.
When Evan asks if the textbooks and supplies will be comparably expensive to American textbooks, the Headmistress assures them that the school understands that they all come from Namp families, and will be provided with a stipend of wizard gold. Before she can get there, however, the group begins to protest the term, as it sounds even worse than "M*ggle". The Headmistress tries in vain to stop them all from saying it, as they are no longer non-magical and are not allowed to say the word. As Jammer continues to say the M-word proudly over and over, the Headmistress casts a spell on him that magically seals his mouth shut.
The group discusses whether or not this course of action is technically corporal punishment since England doesn't have the same basic right to freedom of speech that the US does, and when Jammer's mouth unsticks, he complains about the old-British-sweets taste, mentioning he would have preferred a McDonald's dollar menu ice cream sweet instead. Confused by what McDonald's is, the Headmistress begins to explain that they'll have to work to unlearn some of the bad habits that they were raised into as Namps, until she gets distracted by Sam as she takes selfies with her cellphone. The Headmistress objects, saying that they'll also have to get used to not using their electronic devices, as they won't work inside the school.
Evan wonders what kind of services the school will be offering, and working off her knowledge of Harry Potter, Dream assumes they'll be getting their supplies and then going off to a whimsical academy to have grand adventures. She brings it up to the Headmistress when asked how she knows this, but Philtrum seems not to know what Harry Potter or movies are. When Dream attempts to get a baseline for what she does or doesn't know about, she brings up Billie Eilish, and the Headmistress points to Billy Frumpshire, a gnome walking by.
Before they can get off track any further, she provides them each with a pouch of 20 gold coins to spend on their school supplies, but it quickly gets off track again when she mentions it comes from a Namp fund. The conversation devolves yet again into attempting to gauge what words she does or doesn't know. When she informs them that the school doesn't have bathrooms since they can just magic away their waste, Jammer expresses a desire to go home, even though he was excited to be recruited for sports. Frustrated with how long the introductions are taking, the Headmistress tells him their magical sport will all be explained later.
She reiterates the pilot program that they're a part of, but realizes that the more she explains, the weirder things get. She implores that there are lots of people counting on the group to show up and do what it is in their nature to do, then summons a small, ringing purple owl-- a clear reference to a telephone, as Evan points out-- to excuse herself for more pressing business. Before she can leave, she informs them that the three essential items for them to purchase are a wand, a broom, and a familiar. Evan asks to have a private word with her and explains that he may not end up needing any of those, as even though there's surely an educational track they've been set on, he's come to get his magic removed.
The Headmistress scoffs at his request, and Evan snarls in response, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about". She pulls out a colorful set of magnification glasses and becomes aware of something when she scrutinizes his face that sets her into a much more serious mood. She promises him a consultation when he arrives at the school and tells him to try to enjoy himself in the meantime. Evan asks her not to tell him what to do, and in a weird tone that his brain can't quite translate, she replies, "I know exactly who I'm talking to." She turns to the rest of the group to bid them all farewell and teleports away mid-sentence.
With the Headmistress gone, Jammer turns to Dream for guidance, who knows everything there is to know about shopping for magical items. She suggests they get their wants first, since it's the instrument through which their magic will manifest. They make their way to Ace of Wands, a massive storefront reminiscent of a big box store. They approach with expectations of finding something personal, the thing that will induct them into the magical world, but instead open their eyes to find themselves facing out towards the street again, having completely forgotten their experience inside the store. Aabria asks the cast to look under their chairs where they find their own prop wands as she narrates how they each hold in their hands the same box containing identical plain wooden sticks.
Dream is understandably upset, while Evan simply compliments its construction as a dowel. Jammer and Sam flick their wands at each other to see if they work, and Jammer finds that his emits a small puff of basketball-scented baby powder. Realizing Jammer cast the spell almost inadvertently, Evan quickly repackages his wand and ties it shut with his belt. As the others notice, he diverts their attention with a question about whether or not there's a McDonald's in Vertiq Alley. Dream complains that she wants to try all kinds of magical British sweets, and that he's probably the type of guy who just gets McDonald's whenever he travels. That is, until he admits he's never been outside of Iowa before and Dream truly comes to realize how sad of a person Evan is.
She brings this to his attention and he begins to cry a little until Jammer diffuses the situation to suggest they get their brooms. As he does, he feels his wand change in his hand-- the handle is now made of bamboo. Delighted that there was still a chance to get a snake or something dope on hers, Dream begins to wave her own wand in the air, to no avail. Sam draws a piece of lint out of her pocket and points her wand at it, successfully turning it into a delicious McDonald's sundae and causing the wand to turn slightly pinker. Evan compliments everyone's incredible magic work and offers to get rid of the sundae, but he eats it instead of magicing it away.
As the four of them stand in a weird circle in the middle of the street, they notice three other Gowpenny students watching them. The party walks over to greet them and they introduce themselves as Tallulah Jillymont, Fergus Ponst, and Digsby Cooper. Tallulah is immediately condescending, insulting their 1st year skill level as 6th years and mocking their pride over their small spells. She offers help or advice should the group need it, and Jammer asks if there's any McDonald's. Tallulah turns to Fergus, who is just as confused as she is, until Digsby steps forward and explains that he used to be a non-magical person as well. He informs them that there are no McDonald's, but recommends the Knave's Navel if they're hungry as British food is much better than fast food.
They begin to discuss amongst themselves how exciting it is to be studying abroad, and Jammer and Evan bond over both being from/never leaving the American Midwest as Tallulah grows ever impatient over their lack of attention towards her and her offer of help. Jammer lets her know they still need to acquire their brooms and familiars, and she makes another condescending remark, this time about their "interesting outfits". Evan expresses that since robes were not one of the three items the Headmistress said were mandatory for them to get, he likely won't be able to afford them. The trio looks directly into the sun to check the time, commenting that as it's only 11am, their money will go a lot further, and leads them to the broom shop, the Streaking Straw.
On the way, the note to each other how weirdly rude the trio is being, and Sam compares them to the movie Mean Girls. Once inside the shop, Evan leans into the group to remark some more on how upset the trio is making him, and Jammer, Dream, and Sam take turns giving him advice on how to deal with it. None of it is in his wheelhouse.
In an attempt to summon the broom that is "right" for her, Dream lifts her wand and successfully casts a spell for the first time. To her dismay, however, the spell that erupts is a sparkly pink. The man who runs the store complains that she could have just walked down the aisle instead of using magic, until he realizes the four of them are Americans. He begins to talk down to them about wand safety until Dream protests, and Evan points out that the first wizard they met cast a spell on one of them within three minutes of their arrival. Jammer admits that it was because he kept saying "M*ggle", and the shopkeeper explains that the movement to outlaw the use of the word is relatively recent, and they all have to do their part to stop the use of bad language.
Impatient with the group as they discuss how it's possible that the shopkeeper didn't know the world population was close to 8 billion, he leads Jammer to the sports section of the store where the fast brooms are and asks if he plays Scuppers. Clearly disappointed at how uncool the sport sounds, he reluctantly agrees. The rest of them grab their brooms, and Evan heads to the corner of the shop and grabs a janitorial push broom, which the store only had the heart to charge him 3 coppers for. Outside the store, they ask Tallulah if they'll need to take a drivers test of some kind before they're allowed to fly, but she tells them since they're 6th years, they won't be taking the usual 3rd year flying lessons, so they should be good to go.
Before they pick up the last necessary item on their shopping list, familiars, Evan asks Dream if she thinks they're going to need to provide food care for them as well. Dream begins to ask if he's asking because everything he cares for suffers and dies a horrible death, but dissolves into a wide smile and laughter before she can get to the end. Evan attempts to brush his feelings about the situation aside as he leads them to the pet shop, but as Jammer and Dream whisper that the answer has to be "yes", he overhears and has a small outburst in which he explains that they don't all die.
Jammer quickly notices that Evan is drawing unwanted attention, both from people looking on in shocked British propriety, but also from those who seem to have locked onto his frequency and are staring at him, unblinking. Dream is a little entranced as well and hears whispers in the crowd about a "Dark One". Jammer steps between Evan and the crowd to calm him and ushers him away towards the pet shop with both hands. The touch soothes him, and in the moment of connection between the two boys, Sam catches sight of something like a glowing tether form between them. Sam mentions this to them, but dues to the unspoken rules of masculinity they are unable to actively acknowledge the moment, so Jammer and Evan simply head off to get familiars.
The group heads to Merwyn's Minions, where they briefly discuss how most of the shops in Vertiq Alley seem to be alliterative. Sam considers changing her stream name to be alliterative too, in order to appeal to the viewers in this new country, and Dream suggests she could get something whimsical to add to her stream instead, like a walrus. Jammer asks the attendant at the front, Freya, but she reports they don't have any walruses. She then explains how the familiar-acquiring process works: customers walk through the area at the back of the store where something will be drawn to them, and whatever that may be, animal or not, is the familiar that they'll be charged for.
Jammer approaches several animals and stands expectantly in front of them, waiting for that one that will be his. Sam, on the other hand, points to a large hog and asks if its a stream pig, and immediately after she does so, a tiny piglet leaps over the hog and slides to a stop on her feet. She names it after her favorite movie, Terminator 2. As the group takes their phones out to get pictures of Sam and her new familiar, Jammer's basketball slips out of his duffle bag. Jammer pauses to see if any animal will approach the ball, but before long, the ball rolls back to Jammer all on its own. Startled, he attempts to kick the ball away, but falls to the ground as it deftly dodges him. In the end, though, Jammer is relieved his familiar is his basketball, as he was never good with animals anyway.
Dream soon notices a small chipmunk sitting on her shoulder which greets her in plain English. She struggles to understand how something so cute and not-edgy could be her familiar, and even sidles up to a boa constrictor to try and get her familiar to change. It asks for a name, and she begrudgingly names it Theodore. Evan attempts to reason with her that such a capable familiar is a good thing, but she insists that she does best scrutinizing other people and breaking them down into tropes. Frustrated with her turning the conversation back to him somehow, he walks into the enclosure.
All the animals immediately slam up against the walls and start spitting up blood. Another shop keeper steps in to investigate why Evan didn't attract a familiar. She puts a magical, prismatic shard up to his chest, and she steps back in shock when she sees his heart. She announces that he already has a familiar, his shadow, and amid resigned nods of confirmation from Evan, she points to the ground where everyone is casting shadows except him. She warns them to run if they see it and offers them a discount on their familiars if they leave her shop quickly.
Outside the store, Evan lets the group know that he knows that being near him is dangerous, and they don't have to hang around him if they don't want to. Sam reassures him that they do, as he's part of Team M*ggle just like they are. Watching form the sidelines, Tallulah, Fergus, and Digsby warn them once again not to say that word. Dream attempts to raise Evan's spirits by telling him how exciting his dark power is, that it's brought them all together, and that they have a chance to nurture it. Digsby chimes in and mentions that there are tons of evil wizards, and Evan snaps. His wand bursts out of its box in his shopping bag, tearing it to shreds, and snaps into his hand as he says, "I am not an evil wizard." The space behind Digsby bends and warps as a portal opens to a rock in the middle of the ocean, and he is flung out onto it and disappears.
A crowd has formed around the group now and they begin to whisper, "Dark One? Interesting."
Locations[]
- Chicago, IL
- Seattle, WA
- Portland, OR
- Millersburg, IA
- Vertiq Alley
- Ace of Wands
- The Streaking Straw
- Merwyn's Minions
Characters[]
The Magical Misfits[]
New[]
- Headmistress Boudicca Philtrum
- Juice Freshman
- Janet and Maurice Tanaka
- Sausage
- Sam's Mother
- Billy Frumpshire
- Vertiq Alley Shopkeepers
- Tallulah Jillymont
- Fergus Ponst
- Digsby Cooper
- Freya
- Terminator 2
- Spalding
- Theodore
- Evan's Shadow