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The Rule of Sneakery is the eighth episode of season 15, A Court of Fey & Flowers.
Intro[]
- "So in our previous chapter, masks of every sort were lifted in and around the masquerade ball, centerpiece event of the season. Rue and Frog-BINX met with the leadership of the Court of Seafoam, and they spoke plainly of their fears around the ambitions and potential violence of the Court of Wonder. The Lords of the Wing, having turned over a new beak and returned to their old form, attended a private salon of Prince Apollo and strung along the members of an Unseelie-Wonder alliance that sought their hands in marriage and shared a plot to seal away the mortal plane to stockpile the magic flowing from it. After a touching moment where Andhera bore witness to the mighty prowess of the Court of Craft, our fate-touched Fey attended a ball replete with drug masks, clandestine deals, and horny grandfathers all under a sky filled with fireworks. With our spymaster birdmaster connecting the final dots between Gwyndolin and BINX, we end our summary and begin chapter eight of our story."
Synopsis[]
The Pack of Pixies begin their final round of Rumor Phase.
Rumor Phase:[]
Existing Rumors:[]
- The Viscountess Grabalba is a bit of a floozy
- "The Green Hunter", the highly divisive book, is being adapted into a movie.
- Prince Apollo called off the engagement between himself and the Viscountess Grabalba for a heartbroken Rue's sake.
- Andhera is here due to an unestablished tie between the Unseelie and Goblin Courts
Existing Scandals (Escalated Rumors):[]
- Squak is actively courting Prince Apollo
- Rue and the Court of Wonder are taking too much credit for the Bloom
- Andhera introduces the rumor the Lords of the Wing being fun might make this not the last bloom.
"The Formidable" Capt. K. P. Hob accelerates this rumor, adding that The Bloom was not at risk for no longer existing because of some "environmental, nebulous magical reality", but because the the Court of Wonder has been greedy for magic that rightly belongs to more than just themselves. Hob also adds the rumor, based on some interactions seen between the Seelie and Goblin courts that the upcoming Goblin assault on the Seelie realms may have been averted diplomatically, and the troop movements to reflect withdrawing from that border, may hasten Captain Hob's leaving The Bloom early.
Lady Chirp Featherfowl starts the rumor, through salt goblins, tittering birds, wooden automatons and ventriloquist dummies, that both Dev Patel and Michael B. Jordan have been considered for roles in medical thriller, "The Green Hunter". She also starts the rumor through casting Suggestion on someone at a brunch that Wuvvy was seen in the private parlor of Prince Apollo.
Lord Squak Airavis, through casting suggestion on someone at a brunch who screams it aloud, starts the rumor that Prince Andhera has found his match in one incredibly regular BINX Choppley, and that the two spent the entire Masquerade Ball together.
Delloso De La Rue, via Wuvvy, starts the rumor that due to the sudden change in the Lord of the Wings' demeanor, they have both found a suitable love match and are doing so well in the wager that their behavior reflects that. Specifically speaking to Squak, who may have been trying to woo the human, Wanessa.
BINX Choppley starts the rumor that Prince Apollo has seemingly chosen to be courted by Lord Squak Airvais because he plans to recruit Squak into the Court of Wonder.
No one opts to burn a favor in order to remove a rumor from the table.
Epistolary Phase (1):[]
A letter is delivered by a salt goblin to Prince Andhera. The salt goblin delivers the letter while Andhera is in the library with Advisor. The note reads:
"My dearest Andhera, I have heard the rumors of your passionate, if well-hidden ardor. The truth is that myself and Fable, the leader of the Trickster Court, have shared a romantic evening at the Ball. And I truly cannot fathom a world where a proposal is publicly made in days. I hope your very good friends, your close comrade's marriage to the Seelie Court will not stand in the way of your continued comraderies. Yours as ever, but for real, don't stalk me, my boyfriend will kill you, Viscountess Grabalba (soon to be the consort of the Fable of the Court of Trickery)"
Andhera writes a letter back:
"Your Majestic Nastiness, Absolutely absolutely absolutely! I couldn't be more delighted for you. This sounds to be a most excellent marriage in every sense of the word. And I know that were I to intervene, death would be the kindest mercy that court would allow me. I wish you the happiest of existences and if you are to find yourself anywhere near the Unseelie Court, please do not make yourself a stranger. I have included some preemptive marriage gifts." Which include, old newspapers that were used to sop up a puddle.
Lord Airavis delivers a letter:
"Dearest Dev Patel and Michael B. Jordan, We deeply appreciate your consideration for the following role. Sides are attached:
'Doctor Green Hunter - 35, Musky. A flask of genuine Scotch heavy in his pocket. Seems moments away from a divorce.'
'INT - AMBULANCE. The ambulance shakes rockily, sirens blaring headed from the scene of an accident.
GREEN HUNTER: I'm so tired.
PATIENT: You're talking about tired? I'm dying over here!
GREEN HUNTER: Keep your hand on your wound, man.
The Green Hunter looks over to his bow. It hangs next to his stetho-cope.
GREEN HUNTER: Who will I be today?'
Please send back by the end of the week. Yours, in casting, Airry Perry"
Lady Chirp Featherfowl sends a letter to Jeremy Renner's agent, mimics their handwriting and then writes:
"Dearest Jeremy Renner, you need to take a couple years off, my man. You're in too much. Sincerely, Whatever your agents name is."
Andhera pulls out a piece of parchment and tells Advisor he intends to speak with his mother. In the meantime, he writes:
"Dear Airry Perry, I hope this letter finds you well. I thought your book was fantastic. There has been a scathing review going around though. I don't normally do this, but as I think we're all about to get busy soon, if there is anything you'd like me to do on your behalf, you have an eternal friend and an eternal friend, and I'm happy to speak with one of your greatest enemies who is spreading such biting words here at The Bloom. I take this very seriously. Love, Andhera."
Lady Chirp heads to check the P.O. Box, finds Andhera's letter to Airry Perry and hands it to her cousin. Airry responds to Andhera with what he sends to all the fans:
"Thanks for reading, bro. Never forget to keep your bow near your stetho-cope. Hey, make sure to keep your hand on your wound"
Captain Hob sends a letter to BINX by the swiftest salt goblin at the Court:
"We owe Buddy a visit. Same time as last time. No seconds needed." BINX recieves the letter, reads it, and waits until nighttime to go to the tailors and meet with Hob.
BINX then sends a letter to Lady Featherfowl:
"Dear Lady Featherfowl, I apologize for my overly blunt response into being thrust into the spotlight with my intentions at The Bloom. Also my sheer panic when you asked if I was calling in the favor and for the fog cloud and magic missilie I then deployed as I fled. So I do apologize. I would love, though, to talk to you in a more public place. Whether I come to have tea with you or you visit me under the radiator is completely up to you. May you find lost things, BINX." Lady Featherfowl recieves the letter and informs her cousin she's going to a radiator for the first time. After discussing fashion advice from her cousin on what to wear, she dons a bathtowel and heads over.
The Episode:[]
Wrapped in a towel, Lady Featherfowl heads to the back of the castle to meet BINX at the radiator. The inside of the radiator looks like an antique museum, where Lady Featherfowl asks if it is an estate sale. BINX explains she has kept all these trinkets from the Mortal Realm including Avernus. BINX lets Featherfowl know that she has been working with Gwyndolin, who is a "real person, and not dead, she's definitely fine", who frequents the mortal plane and discovered portals have been closing. When a portal closes, it's unknown when and where it will open again. The only reason BINX has been able to travel between planes is because she's found a loophole that helps her gain magic from the Mortal Realm and bring magic to it. Lady Featherfowl states that it seems like both of them have a vested interest for leaving passage to the Material Plane open.
Featherfowl then tells BINX that she has enough information on BINX that if BINX were to cross her, she would be able to blackmail her. Featherfowls shares that though she does not have the details on it yet, she believes the closing of portals is due to the workings of the Unseelie Court. She admits to having strung along Suntar, Andhera's sister, for a potential political marriage, but found out Prince Apollo and the Unseelie's intentions to close portals to the Mortal Realm. Featherfowl decided to maintain their loveless political relationship with Suntar in order to learn more about the Unseelie's plans. BINX questions whether she can trust Andhera and offers Featherfowl friendship and hopes to help. Featherfowl reveals she plans on speaking with Suntar, feigning interest and support of Suntar's plan, and then asking Suntar if she would like help from the Lords of the Wing in order to learn the true nature of this plot. BINX asks Featherfowl how she can lie without becoming drowsy, seeing as she passes out if she lies. Featherfowl says she has been lying since she was a child. BINX agrees to help, since she believes that if all the portals to the Material Plane are closed then there will be no opportunity for everyone to potentially find magic. She also warns if you are trapped in the Material Plane with no way back to your Realm, you will eventually be turned into a sacred place or object, e.g. a tree, a haunted house. BINX offers Featherfowl the one item she found in Hanivan, a beetle brooch made by the generational jeweler, Mrs. Haversham. On her way out, Featherfowl accepts the gift, noting that she is currenly wearing an invisible wedding ring made by the same jeweler.
Epistolary Phase (2):[]
Lord Blemish and Lady Boil have also written a letter, to Captain Hob. Written on fine vellum, "the good paper", and tucked under Hob's shoulder as he slept:
"Our efforts have born glorious fruit. Thanks to you, the Goblin Courts prospects are renewed. A deal has been brokered between ourselves and the Seelie Court, united in concern with the Court of Wonder's overstepping and the murmuring of an alliance between Wonder and Unseelie. We are throwing our lot in with the Seelie and formally joining our people via union between Lady Sylmenar and yourself. A match of this quality is a rare thing and to that end we need you to make efforts to be seen out and about with the Lady. Your time flitting around the Bloom is at an end. Do your duty and help us seal this deal, Major Hob."
Hob folds the letter neatly and stows it amongst his maps, orders, and reports, stating he has never desired to eat a letter less. He dons his uniform and immediately makes a report to the Lord Blemish and Lady Boil. We hear a letter, written by Rue, meant to be delivered to Hob by Wuvvy. It read:
"Captain Hob, My feet are still gliding from dancing with you last night at the Ball. I am feeling overjoyed, incredibly grateful, and absolutely lucky to have had you by my side last night. That experience was unlike anything I had ever experience. To share a moment with you, absolutely magical. And I must admit my feet still hurt from when you stepped on them, as I was teaching you how to do the Electric Slide... And in those moment when I saw you look down at your feet, frustrated that you couldn't get something perfect right away, I realized, this is the person I love. Those quiet moments, those moment of your genuine curiosty peeking through. The kind way you held me. You asking me if I was all right and if I needed anything at all. I want to have more moments like that with you. I want to know you, Captain. I want to know you like no one else knows you. I want to be the only to know that you, I don't know, dance when you're by yourself or mutter to yourself as you're making food. I cherish the new delights that I will know about you and for now, the only thing that will keep me going is four words that you have given me so graciously. Captain Knickolas Pnackolas Hob. Yours Forever and Always, Dellaroso de la Rue." We discover Wuvvy ripped the letter up.
Another letter from Rue was sent to the Chorus of the Court of Wonder:
"I think a meeting between us needs to take place. You set the time and location." The Court responds, "At your earliest convenience, at the top of the tower. We have much to discuss and it is all good news."
Rue asks if Wuvvy has a good time at these events, or if she only focuses on the tasks that need to be done. Wuvvy responds that she doesn't always know the difference. Rue poses the question in another way, asking Wuvvy if she finds joy in running around and doing errands for other people? Wuvvy says she does not enjoy it for everyone, but does for Rue. We discover Wuvvy harbors deeper feelings for Rue. Rue starts to realize that there is a large divide between themselves and Wuvvy. Rue tells Wuvvy that there are no secrets between them, therefore they must confess something unexpected, they cannot continue running The Bloom any longer. Lady Featherfowl writes to Suntar:
"Suntar, Grandfather much approves of our potential bethrothal. He has inquired into some of the revelations Prince Apollo divulged over brandy and cigars and whether The Lords of the Wing could aid in their execution. Meet me in the place where the beat doesn't reach so that we might further disucss. K.I.T., Lady Featherfowl."
Lady Featherfowls crits on a wisdom-saving throw to receive the response from Suntar. She begins to faint as a vision comes to her, a place of darkness with a vapor moving through her that feels as though she is present in this space while also witnessing it from behind her eyes. As a dark jet of air swirls around her, she hears a hiss in her ear "Yes". We discover this was a flex from Suntar to show her strength of power and willingness and ability to inherit her mother's gifts. Lord Airavis sends a letter to Prince Apollo, via a flock of doves that are all in love:
"My Dearest Prince Apollo, Last night still weighs heavy in my thoughts. It was an honor to be by your side as we did the Harlem Shake together. And as these days grow long, my mind drifts to when we are together and my heart pines for you so. As these days of the Bloom grow long, I yearn for the day at which point our love will become known. Like the ever-present passing of days, my desire and affection for you continues to rise undeterred by any obstacles and aligned with the foundation of the cosmos. You've clipped the wings of my heart and it rests eternally in your care, Squak." He does not receive a response.
BINX has received around a half dozen notes of inquiry from middle peerage from the Courts of Seafoam, Stone, Deepwater, and Seelie, asking about her desire to marry in order to bolster the Court of Craft.
Back into the Episode:[]
Rue meets The Court of Wonder. Three robed Figures speak as one, in unison and harmony, as they welcome Rue and express their gratitude towards them. Rue addresses the rumors that The Court of Wonders is keeping magical resources, especially in regards to the Court of Craft. The Figures regret deeply they did not see what was coming to The Court of Craft in order to intervene. Rue then asks if the rumor is true that this is also to be the last Bloom? The Figures look to one another, in what seems to be a moment of uncertainty, then state that there is nothing to this rumor, and that they hope to bring Rue in closer to the Court of Wonder, offering them a mask and a place within the Chorus of the Court of Wonder. Rue realizes if they accept, they will have to give up their title of Master of Ceremonies. The Figures believe Wuvvy is to take over the position. Rue then reveals that the hidden prize to the wager against the Lord of the Wings, aside from money, would also be an offer to become Master of Ceremonies for the following Blooms. The Figures are indignant, staying that though Master of Ceremonies is Rue's title, it is not their title to give away. Rue pleads for the exchange of magic between all realms, that there is no reason for the Court of Wonder to solely hold hosting power. Rue then reveals they have organized the events of The Bloom to be a testament to love, so that Fey could intermingle, and hopefully one day banish the idea of Courts entirely. The Figures admire Rue's passion, but impress that it is better for Rue to stand with them. Rue leaves and begins to call to Wuvvy but cuts themselves short, realizing that Wuvvy is no longer a confidant, especially after The Chorus has pushed for Wuvvy to be the next Master of Ceremonies. Rue goes to find BINX.
The Lords of the Wing seek out Suntar before they have brunch with their Grandfather. They ask Suntar how they (including their Grandfather) might be able to help her and Prince Apollo with their plan to close the portals to the mortal realm and keeping magic to themselves. Suntar says she is not willing to divulge more information until more concrete plans are laid out for their betrothals and gives the cousins till the end of week for their response.
Captain Hob leaves his tent and heads to Lord Blemish and Lady Boil to report on the letter he's received from them. Hob asks if he should stop searching for a potential assassin or saboteur that was rumored to be among the Court of Wonder. A very hungover Boil and Blemish tell him to keep searching for as long as they are at The Bloom. Hob then asks about the insult paid to the Court of Goblins by Prince Apollo (regarding the broken off engagement of Viscountess Grabalba) during the hedge maze, and if he should seek satisfaction. Blemish and Boil tell Hob to bring them Prince Apollo's head. Hob asks if there is any usefulness in searching for a higher station for Prince Andhera as opposed to his sister, Suntar. If the Court of Goblins is able to bolster the reputation of Andhera, they may be able to build a strong alliance between themselves and the Unseelie Court, and keep an alliance from forming between the Unseelie and Craft Courts. Especially since most attendees of the Bloom have noticed how Andhera and BINX have been spending time together. Blemish and Boil ask if he has anything else to say, specifically about his arranged union to the Lady Sylmenar. Hob says that all he has ever wished is to be of service (and to rumpus and ruin) and therefore will follow his orders to marry the Lady. He does make one request, in accepting the role of Major, he wishes Lady Boil and Lord Blemish to speak with the Goblin King and let The King know he will no longer accept any medals of valor or courage. When the Lord and Lady ask why, he invokes the "Rule of Sneakery" saying, "my business is my own." He then leaves the Lord and Lady and heads to the stables where he meets his horse, Wrackingspelt. Crying, he admits "I've fallen in love" and he rides off to the tailor shop to meet BINX.
BINX has been setting up in the tailor shop for an hour, taking the map Hob has made and building it into a 3D format and giving the ventriloquist dummies new clothes. Hob enters the shop and compliments BINX's work ethic. BINX and Hob both admit to having fallen in love with Andhera and Rue, respectively. They then discuss how they were not born into their positions of leadership, but by blood and fang they are determined to prove they have just as much of a right to be at The Bloom as the other guests. Hob explains that the Unseelie Court may be in cahoots with the Court of Wonder. BINX adds that Suntar and Prince Apollo may be at the heart of this alliance. Hob and BINX then discuss how they will murder Apollo, but frame Suntar. Hob encourages BINX to follow their heart and take advantage of any opportunity they may have to pursue Andhera. Hob shares that he wishes he could have the same chance to pursue Rue, but he is too much a coward, while Rue is the most "singularly courageous" Fey he has ever met.
Meanwhile, Rue cannot find BINX after their meeting with The Chorus. They head to Andhera's quarters to see if BINX is with him.
BINX finds out that Hob has been ordered to marry someone in the Seelie Court. BINX offers Hob the chance to marry into their Court, by marrying Rue. Hob refuses this and instead suggests that BINX go to Andhera and continue with the plans laid, so that a wedge may be driven between the Unseelie and Wonder Courts. BINX leaves Hob with a final word, that the Courts themselves are all smoke and mirrors and they do not matter, only his happiness matters.
Andhera is not in his quarters, but is down at the mouth of the sea cave with the fierce ocean wind hitting his robes. He calls to speak to his mother, who appears in a corporeal form. Andhera tells her that he knows major moves have been been made for the Court without his knowledge, but that needs to be amended. Suntar has been failing at upholding their Courts' reputation at the Bloom, and points out that his mother has not been able to represent their court either, else she would not have children. He demands to be the face of the Court. His mother rejects the notion. Andhera states confidently that he will have to be included in all Court decisions moving forward, or the Court will fail. The Queen of Air and Darkness delivers 28 points of psychic damage to her son and begins to weep. She asks if he truly means to challenge her, because if so, she will see if he is fit to hold the title. Once she leaves Andhera, he drops "Heroism" and vomits against the seawall.
The Lords of the Wing prepare to meet with their Grandfather. Their Grandfather arrives looking disheveled after a long night out. Grandfather asks the Cousins what will make their engagements to Prince Apollo and Suntar solidified. Lady Featherfowl reassures Grandfather that when when they join Suntar and Apollo in their box at the play, they will make their proposals public. Grandfather lets the Cousins know he will stay at The Bloom until the proposals are confirmed. He will, specifically, be staying in The Nest, where the Lord and Lady of the Wing have been staying and tells them to seek a bed elsewhere. On their way out, Lord Airavis asks their Grandfather to divulge with whom he spent the night. Grandfather shares it was The Sea Wall, champion of the Sea Foam Court. The Lords of the Wing head out of The Nest with their suitcases and come across Andhera. Andhera offers to host the Lords of the Wing at his dormitory. When Lord Airavis asks what the price will be, Andhera reveals that his Locate Object spell was used to find the note revealing that Airry Perry is Lord Airavis, and says they can stay for free since he is "a big fan, bro."
Rue walks in on the exchange and asks if anyone has seen BINX. Covertly, Andhera shares that he has not seen BINX, but that BINX might be found in the tailor shop. Through a failed insight/perception check, it is revealed that BINX, Andhera, Rue, and Hob have all been to the tailor shop and have begun conversations on how they are all planning to overthrow the Courts.
Rue ask The Lords of the Wing to keep the secret, but Andhera asks if they would like to join in the plot. Lady Featherfowl says it would be fun to watch this all go down. BINX enters the scene, casually eating a muffin. BINX asks what has brought the four of them together in the open and Lord Airavis responds that they should all move to Andhera's dormitory to enjoy a cup of tea. As the five of them head out, we find Major Hob headed to the Seelie Court to rendezvous with the Lady Sylmenar. Before he is able to confront her, Hob is interrupted by Prince Apollo. Apollo tells Hob they have business to deal with, and begins to pull out his sword.
Locations[]
Characters[]
Players[]
- Lady Chirp Featherfowl
- BINX Choppley
- Major K. P. Hob
- Delloso de la Rue
- Prince Andhera
- Lord Squak Airavis
New[]
Returning[]
- Wuvvy
- Grandfather
- Lord Blemish and Lady Boil
- Prince Apollo
- Suntar
- The Chorus
- Wrackingspelt
- The Queen of Air and Darkness
- Caw